


Life Sucks, Yeah, I Know

by crabsthinkfishfly



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst?, Klance au, M/M, Oblivious, Soulmate AU, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, They're so cute tbh, Voltron au, a lil bit, but i mean really get over yourselves, fluff? hecc yeah, klance soulmate au, slowburn, theyre really dumb tbh, thy dont realise they're into each other until like chapter 15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-16 11:09:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 22,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17548553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crabsthinkfishfly/pseuds/crabsthinkfishfly
Summary: When you turn twenty one, a trail will lead you to your soulmate. Although once you meet there are many different symptoms.Of course, Keith is excited beyond belief for his turn to gain a soulmate, but there is something he's never thought of.What if he doesn't get the trail? Of course, as life, and the writer would have it, the one thing he wants more than anything else - a soulmate - is out of his reach.And then there's Lance. He was excited, he dreamed of a soulmate for the longest time, but much like Keith - although neither boy knows it - he too doesn't receive a trail.So he shuts himself off from his friends, his family, and the world.And thus the story begins as they must fight in order to save themselves and each other, but what if it's too late - for either of them? Can they be saved? Or will both boys spiral into depression and low self esteem?





	1. Chapter 1

  Keith woke up at around noon, struggling to piece his thoughts together. Today was a Saturday, the day of his birthday.

   He glanced up at his alarm clock, checking the exact time, "shit!" He swore. He was around five minutes late already. He had meant to meet up with Shiro and Allura today at the coffee shop down the road.

   He threw himself into getting ready, brushing his teeth and getting dressed. He didn't bother to shower - his hair would take forever to dry.  
   Locking the door behind him, Keith walked down to the coffee shop. He grabbed his phone, going into the group that contained Shiro, Allura and himself.

 _Keef: Sup_ _peasants_

_Allura: You here?_

_Keef: Yep_

He walked to the table and chairs by the window, the group's usual spot.

   "You're late," Allura pointed out.

   "I slept in," Keith answered.

   Shiro came and sat down across from Keith, "I just ordered for us. Keith, I got your usual."

   "Thanks man." 

   Allura leaned forward, resting her chin on clasped hands and looking at Keith. "So. Are you excited? Today you'll turn twenty one! What do you think your soulmate will be like?"

   "I don't know..." Keith mused, "but yeah, I'm definitely excited. I just hope whoever they are they'll be nice." Keith frowned. 

   Truth be told, Keith wanted a soulmate more than anything, and it wasn't even for a particularly creative reason. All he wanted was unconditional love, something he had never really had until Shiro and Allura. Yes, he knew it was selfish, but he just wanted love. He wanted acceptance more than anything.

 

   A few hours later, the trio got up to leave, parting their separate ways. Keith was just too excited, he didn't think he can wait, and who could blame him?

   He threw himself into a frenzy, trying to find something to occupy himself. He ended up rearranging his apartment, picking out a new playlist on Spotify. Maybe he was putting off the inevitable, maybe he was distracting his mind, it didn't really matter. All that mattered was his soulmate.  


   He pulled out his trademark red marker - the one he always used to doodle over himself when he was bored. He looped words over themselves, forming sentences. Most of them didn't mean anything, they were merely song lyrics. The one word dominating the centre of his hand was written in cursive;  _soulmate_.

   It was fitting, the word dominating his hand and all the other words crowding around it was the same word dominating his mind, overshadowing all other thoughts and ideas.

   Keith frowned, sighing with a soft smile on his lips. He couldn't help it, the idea of a soulmate was too good to be true, and within a few hours, he would find his own.

   Keith paced, and he paced. Try as he might, he couldn't stop walking back and forth, and maybe it was a good thing. It soothes his mind.

   With just a few minutes left to go, he sat gingerly down on his couch, staring out of the door.

   Of course, the exact time he turned twenty one a trail would lead him to his soulmate. Not everyone had a soulmate, but Keith held out the hope that he did.

  Keith checked his watch again, for possibly the thousandth time that day, counting down the seconds.

  And three... two... one...

  Keith flung open his door eagerly, expecting to see a trail, any kind of trail. But there was none. Maybe his watch was wrong...?

  No. No, he had calibrated it earlier today. He stumbled back inside, managing to shut the door on his way down. He shrunk against a wall, crumpling into a little ball. No, no he refused to believe this.

  Keith ran over to his computer, opening it and tapping in keys. He wouldn't accept this. He just wouldn't.

  Letting out a strangled half laugh, half sob, Keith tapped enter.

  His search engine exploded with stories of people with soulmates. People who didn't have soulmates or people who's soulmates had died.  
None of which had soulmates who had come late. 

  Keith squeezed his ears shut, trying to ignore the hot tears pushing at his eyelids. But he couldn't ignore them, hard as he tried. So instead, he relented, letting them stream down his cheeks.

 

   A few months later, Keith's phone had piled up with texts. He had stopped going to classes in university and he had drifted away from his friends.

   Shiro and Allura had grown closer as they had grown apart from Keith. And Keith noticed, but he just couldn't bring himself to care. And he noticed that sounded selfish, but nothing mattered anymore.

   Well, except for his research. He looked at articles of people's soulmates, where their experiences had gone awry. And really, there was  _one_ class he attended.

   The soulmate elective with Professor Livingston. Livingston had been inspired by a friend, and Keith himself had read the story concerning her.

   In fact, he had memorised it - word for word. Partially for the predicament itself, some of which sounded familiar, but most of it he remembered for his Professor.

   'Myra Lyre, a girl of twenty-five _years may hold the answers to some of our questions. She had a soulmate by the name of Taran, there had been no denying it— the trail had led right to him._  
_But when she turned up at his house at around noon, he rejected her._  
_"Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty hard when Taran rejected me," says Miss Lyre. "I was in a pretty bad place for a while, until I met Reece. She helped me a lot. Of course, it didn't help that he had taken my colours, but I could deal."_  
_Myra settled into a new pattern, until one day, disaster struck._  
_"I mean, it was nice that day. It shouldn't have been nice. It should have been gloomy or something, right?  I was drinking tea at the time, and I remember everything_ so  _clearly._  
_But then everything just... changed. I mean, I don't even know how to describe it. There was just this pain here [over my heart], and all the beautiful colours were back. I won't lie, I was ecstatic. I mean, I could finally see the colour of Reece's eyes._  
_She kind of just looked at me, and I could see the confusion. When I explained her smile kind of just dropped. She knew even before I did, that he was dead._  
_She told me, and I won't lie, I didn't pay much thought at all. And suddenly she just changed. Reece threw herself into work - although I'm not sure why. She herself had a soulmate._  
_I guess it was for me, but she changed her Uni course and began to research soulmates. Then, she took a teaching course. When she'd finished her teaching course, she applied at our Uni and became a professor. She taught about Soulmates, writing in her spare time._  
_I mean, I was happy for her, but she became less like Reece and more like Professor Livingston. What I mean to say is that Taran impacted me in ways I could never have imagined."_  
_Myra became a scientist, looking at chemical makeups, seeing how a soulmate is decided. In her spare time, she is a writer. In fact, she and Reece bonded over that, their friendship strengthened when they wrote a book together, about a dystopian world where soulmates did not exist.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay guys whoever reads this, thank you so much! I wrote this au cuz I have zero self control an I was like 'oh my god I love Klance I have to write a fic omfg' so yeah. I hope you enjoyed, but if not, well... fair enough lmao  
>    But anyways yea thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eep! Maybe I should warn you that Pidge is Matt's soulmate... well I guess I’ll explain - basically I wanted it to resonate more with both Keith and Lance the significance of a soulmate, and make them feel more like outsiders as the only ones without soulmates (y’know, for storyline) but bc pidge is ace/aro, she doesn’t experience romantic/sexual attraction, but the whole point of soulmates is someone you have a deep bond with, and who does Pidge share the deepest bond with? Matt. So it’s nothing weird it’s all platonic if that’s what you were thinking. OKAY THANK YOU

   Lance stretched up, swinging his legs over his bed. "You are now blessed with my presence!" He sang as he walked into the living room.

   "Cursed more like," Benji replied, smirking. 

   Lance flicked him on the forehead, walking into the kitchen. "Mama! What's for breakfast?"

   "Depends. What are you making?" Lance's mom yelled back from the living room.

   Lance grinned, grabbing a bowl and pouring himself cereal. He poured in the milk, grabbing a spoon before sitting down.

   Benji grabbed a bowl too, pouring in first milk, then cereal. He grinned as he sat down next to Lance, "what?" He asked, knowing full well what Lance's disgusted expression stemmed from.

   "Benji." He said slowly. "I thought I taught you better than this. It's cereal first,  _then_ milk."

   Benji scoffed, "haven't you got a date to go to?" 

   Lance stood up, "yes! I do! Shit, I forgot. Benji, I'll see you later."

   Lance threw on some jeans and a random top, realising he didn't have any time for his beauty routine. Lance really liked this girl, and he didn't want to mess it up.

    Sure, maybe he didn't have a soulmate, but did that really mean he was meant to be alone? Well... maybe. Who really knew? 

   If he was being honest, if Lance didn't have expectations to uphold he wouldn't have the heart to keep up this facade. But he had to go on like everything was normal. For his family.

 

   "So... today, my soulmate found me," Pidge smirked at Lance over the table.

    "Uh..." Lance eyed Pidge. "You're asexual?"

   "Yeah, duh. But it's more like brotp than otp." She said. 

   Lance frowned in confusion, "uh... well on another note, I got dumped."

   Pidge grinned, while Hunk gasped. "Aw, C'mon, Hunk. Everyone saw it coming." Pidge punched Hunk playfully on the arm.

   Yeah. Everyone had seen it coming.

   "But guys, please. Imma introduce you to my soulmate!"

   "I don't know," Lance said slowly. "I don't really need a reminder of my shortcomings."

   Pidge turned around from where she stood, getting ready to go. "What did you just say?" She said threateningly.

   "Uh..."

   "You will come with me when I fucking say you'll come with me, you little bitch."

  "Whatever," Lance replied calmly.

   He grabbed his jacket from where it was hung over the chair and followed Pidge and Hunk. Maybe it was good that he would meet someone's soulmate, maybe it was all a way to remind him to never get his hopes up. Sure, Lance knew he wasn't good enough, but he had never stopped searching.

   Maybe he should just give up.  
  
   "Hey, Lance," Hunk nudged his shoulder gently. "It's okay. If you don't wanna go, it's ok. I mean, I don't know how you feel, and I never will probably, but I know you're fine. I mean, you don't even need a soulmate, you're Lance McClain!"

   Lance smiled a tiny bit, but he stayed relatively sombre. Hunk understood, he didn't even mind. I mean, wouldn't you be reasonably unhappy if you were going to see a reminder that you were an abnormally?

   Pidge flung open the door in a neighbourhood neither Lance nor Hunk recognised. She pranced inside.

   "Matt, you piece of shit! Get down here or I will beat your ass."   
   Lance snickered as a guy with long, rumpled hair and glasses walked down the stairs groggily.  
  
   "I'm fucking tired you little shit." The one known as Matt said.  
  
   "Yeah, yeah," Pidge grinned. "Doesn't matter. These are my friends and friends; this is my 'soulmate'" Pidge grinned.  
  
   Lance stared around the house, not really noticing anything, but anywhere else was better than looking at  _them_. He thought he would be able to take it. Clearly not.  
  
   "So... your names?" Matt stepped forward, grinning.  
  
   "Hunk," Hunk stepped forward to meet him, offering a firm handshake.  
  
   "Lance," Lance stopped staring at his surroundings just long enough to shake Matt's hand, albeit reluctantly.  
  
   He didn't  _want_ to make a bad impression any more than he wanted the pain. But how could he look at the pairing of soulmates when he wasn't even good enough to have his own?  
  
   Sure, he was used to Hunk and Shay, but it had taken a while.  
  
   Lance took out his phone, pretending to look at the time and be shocked. "Shit!" He said, "my mom wanted me to be home by 2.00. I'm fucking late. I'll see you guys later?"   
  
   "Sure," Hunk said.  
  
   "Bye guys!" Lance waved, while Pidge and Matt talked about some kind of science or something.

  
    _He remembered it all too clearly. He didn't realise it at the time, but it was probably the worst fucking day of his life.  
_  
 _It was work, as usual, being the weekend. Sure, he had the option to go to Uni in the weekend, but it didn't change the fact that he had to work.  
_  
 _Okay, yeah, the previous day Keith Kogane, Lance's rival dropped out. Something about performance issues, or obedience issues or something.  
_  
 _So, yeah, that day work_ had  _been pretty good._  
  
  
 _After work, he'd packed up, grabbed his keys and driven home. Yeah, that's right, no stopping to see Pidge and Hunk, which in itself was a rarity. But he just couldn't help himself. Today he would turn_ _twenty-one.  
_  
 _Twenty_ _-fucking-_ _one_ _. He would get his soulmate.  
_  
 _Because, yeah, he really wanted one.  
_  
 _Sure, he wouldn't be able to flirt with passing people anymore, but so what? A soulmate would accept him for who he was, flaws and all.  
_  
 _Ok, maybe that was a bigger factor than it should have been. It was supposed to be about finding your 'other half' it was about finding true love. But it wasn't like that for Lance.  
_  
 _To understand, you would first have to know that Lance was hyper-aware of his flaws. He saw them but tried not to acknowledge them. He figured that if he ignored them they weren't there.  
_  
 _Of course, that never worked. So instead he put on a mask of confidence. It had been there for so long that most of the time he forgot it was there. But it never left.  
_  
 _Lance opened the door to his home gingerly, creeping into his room. Supposedly no one was home, leaving to give him some space, but he could never be sure._

__  
Flinging himself into his bed, Lance frowned. Yes, he would get acceptance, but at what cost? The cost of his friends? No thanks. And he didn't even know what would come of it.  
  
_What would the trail even be like? And what would the unique symptoms be? He had heard of many different symptoms; a red string connecting you and your soulmate; loss or gain of colours; even feeling physical pain when your soulmate was in pain. Ok, Lance could willingly and openly admit - he didn't fancy the idea of the last one._  
  
_He checked his clock, his watch, his phone. Each device indicated that there was around one minute to go._  
  
_Lance sat up, perched on the edge of his bed, ready to bolt out the door._   
_In 3... 2... 1..._

_  
And nothing. Maybe the trail was just slow burning? Yeah. Yeah, that was probably it. It didn't just go_ BAM, here I am!  _No, it fizzled slowly into existence. That was it.  
_  
 _He got up and sat cross-legged in front of his door. He looked up expectantly, hope shining in his eyes. But... it had been well over five minutes. Maybe he should get something_ done  _instead of just sitting here.  
_  
 _Getting up, he grabbed his phone and some earphones, scrolling through Spotify. He finally chose a playlist, a bunch of the 60s and 70s songs. The playlist itself lasted a while, he probably wouldn't get through the whole thing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So leave a comment about your thoughts... I hope you liked it! Also, I'm thinking of posting the rest of my Klance Christmas fic tomorrow or the day after - let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

   Lance remembered waiting for hours, until finally, he realised; he didn't have a soulmate. He was just glad his family had been out, or they would have heard the sobbing, they would have heard his fist connect with the wall.  
  
   But that had been months ago. It wasn't worth thinking about anymore. So instead, he covered the pain, acted like nothing ever happened.

    _Incoming call: Pidgeon_  
  
   Lance picked up his phone, swiping right to accept the call.  
  
   "Uh, what was that?" Pidge demanded.  
  
   "I have no idea what you're talking about," Lance replied calmly.  
  
   "Bullshit! You didn't even  _look_ at Matt. He's my soulmate for god's sake. Have some respect.   
  
   "You know what? I'm sick of you moping around, it's all you ever do now! So here's the thing - I will find your soulmate. No strings attached."  
  
   "I don't know," Lance replied slowly. "How do you even know I  _have_ a soulmate?"  
  
   "Don't be stupid, if you didn't have one why would you have held up the hope? Your brain isn't dumb, just trust it for once."  
  
   Lance chewed on his lip, closing his eyes. Maybe... maybe Pidge was right. And it couldn't hurt to try, could it? Except it could. He could allow himself to hope, only for it all to come crashing down.  
  
   "I'll do it," Lance finally said.  
  
   "Sweet!"  
  
  So somehow Lance had been roped into a search for a soulmate that may not even exist. This could be trouble.  
  
   Not that Lance could help it, so instead he lay down on his bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to imagine what his soulmate would be like.  
  
   He wanted them to be funny, they had to at least get his jokes or else what was the point? But maybe a little bit serious. Well, not  _serious_ exactly, but able to take stuff seriously. And above else they absolutely needed to accept Lance for his flaws and all.  
  
   And maybe a tiny bit attractive? Not that it was the main factor, but it would be nice. Yeah, he had heard of soulmates who weren't physically attracted to one another, but that didn't necessarily mean it would happen to him, right?

  
   A few hours later, Lance was sitting at a cafe, staring out of the window, anywhere but at one of the few other people inhabiting the cafe.  
It wasn't that he didn't like them... it's just that he didn't like them.  
And who could blame him? After all, it was the guy that had somehow managed to beat him at everything, no matter how hard Lance tried. It was also the guy that Lance had never spoken to, save a few instructions at work.  
  
Keith fucking Kogane.  
  
   But who really cared? Keith didn't matter after Takashi Shirogane walked into the quaint little cafe.  
  
Shiro was Lance's hero and had been for as long as Lance could remember. The man was amazing, truly a kind soul. Aside from teaching at Lance's university, he could often be found doing charity work, and all the sorts.  
  
Lance gazed at him, following Shiro with his eyes. He wanted to talk to the man - badly. He just couldn't work up the courage. Despite Lance's obvious devotion, Shiro hadn't ever given Lance a second thought.  
  
So instead Lance waited. Waited for Pidge, waited for love, waited for life to give him a break. Always watching, always on the fringes. Maybe he should feel used to it, life for Lance had been like this for a while now, but it had never ceased to hurt. Loneliness was not a good feeling.  
  
The door of the cafe swing open and a little gremlin swaggered in, "Lance, I think I've found you your soulmate!"  
  
"Are you sure? Cuz if you're not sure..."  
  
"Relax, Lance. Matt and I triple checked it. It's almost certain."  
  
Lance eyed Pidge doubtfully, but he couldn't deny that if anyone was right, it would be Pidge.  
  
Lance said, "So what's their name?"   
  
"Allura Altea," Pidge said proudly. "I think you'll like her." Extracting her phone from her pocket, Pidge showed Lance a picture. The picture in question was of a girl with coffee dark skin and blue-white curly, long hair, framing purple and blue eyes. She was gorgeous, her eyes shining with genuine happiness.  
  
"Pidge, are you sure? Like, you're sure that you're sure? I don't want to be disappointed." Lance rushed out in a low whisper, not daring to look at Pidge. If he had indeed looked at Pidge, he would have seen pity in his friend's eyes. He didn't want pity, it would make him feel all the worse.  
"I'm sure," Pidge said indignantly. "If you don't believe me, you can decide for yourself. She's right here." Her frown turned into a smug grin as she jogged outside, coming back inside with a tall being in tow. Allura Altea - Lance's supposed soulmate. Or, at least, Pidge and Lance hoped that she was.  
  
Lance took a sip from his latte, looking up at Allura. He expected to take one look at her and immediately know that she wasn't his soulmate. He expected confirmation that he was soulmate-less. Instead, he was blinded, not that he knew it. Blinded by her smile, her kindness.  
  
"Um, hi," Lance chewed his lip, a blush spreading across his cheeks. He quickly shook the lovesick feelings away, sliding in a sleek smirk. "The name's Lance. And you must be Allura Altea, my supposed soulmate." He said smoothly.  
  
Allura smiled at Lance's faintly endearing moves.  
  
Lance still wasn't entirely convinced that Allura was his soulmate, but he figured that if Allura was indeed his soulmate, it wouldn't be fair of him to reject her. Besides, why  _would_ he reject such a gorgeous lady? It wasn't a very smart move. "So, could I take you out sometime? I would love to get to know you."  
  
"I suppose we could talk a bit and get some food." Allura smiled in a faint British accent.  
  
"Food? Talking? I guess it's officially a date," Lance wiggled his eyebrows at Allura, making her laugh. And yes, Lance McClain was indeed flirting again, seemingly as carefree as he was before the whole soulmate incident. He is unaware whether or not he is making a mistake, but he has already made so many mistakes it couldn't hurt to try, right?  
  
Oh, poor boy. It will hurt. It will hurt  _very_ badly, you have no idea.  
After exchanging numbers and addresses (and Pidge continuing to order more food with Lance's card), the trio parted ways with smiles and hopeful hearts. You have to wonder how long those smiles and hearts will last before they are broken. Some last longer than others; some are so, so brittle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't hate me it's not actually Allurance, you'll see. I PROMISE it's Klance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOBODY TALK TO ME PHIL POSTED A VIDEO THIS MORNING IM CRYING YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NEW BACKGROUND FUCKING WOT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHIL POSTED A VID FINALLY WHAT A LAD HE DESERVED TO TAKE A BREAK BUT HONESTLY THANKS FOR COMING BACK @amazingphil BUT HONESTLY A NEW BACKGROUND? WOT? I LOVE IT THO
> 
> #i love you#@amazingphil#thanks for coming back#we support you in anything tho#i would join your channel as a member but let's be honest#im broke#i feel like youre more comfortabl in this video tho#do whatever you need to feel good about yourself honestly#no toxicity her#nopity nope nope#thats the sound of me nopeing#like my reference?#im so funny#what a comedian

   Unfortunately, in all the weeks that had gone by, Lance had still not been able to win the fair Allura. He had flirted, taken her on dates, showered her with affection and adoration, but still, she refused to recognise any feelings but a hesitant friendship.  
  
She didn't know how she was affecting Lance. She didn't know how long he stayed awake at night, thinking of his shortcomings and how he wasn't good enough for a soulmate-- much less Allura. She didn't notice how little he seemed to be eating lately, his comings and goings of obsessions with things, his lack of caring about all things but Allura. Or maybe she noticed, but just didn't care.

***

Lance waited for Allura in the same cafe as always, straining to keep his eyes open, keeping them trained on the door. Allura had expressed her adoration for this cafe, and although Lance didn't like it all that much, he remained. For Allura. Of course, he had to ignore Keith's frequent stops here, but it wasn't hard-- his prize was Allura.  
  
"Sorry I'm late, Lance," A familiar voice said. "I was speaking to a friend."   
Lance jumped, moving his eyes to follow Allura. In his sleep-deprived state, he hadn't noticed Allura walk in. "Oh, Allura." Lance sank back into his seat tiredly. "You're here, I'm glad."  
  
Allura's gaze rove up and down Lance's rumpled form, "You look... well..." She said uncomfortably.  
  
Lance waved her comment away, "Oh, you know me. Always looking my best. I'm gonna go up and order. You want anything?"  
  
"Yes. I'll have a muffin and perhaps a tea. Do you think green or ginger?"  
    
"I--"  
  
"Yes, I think so too. Green tea it is."  
  
Lance shuffled slowly up to the front, fighting to keep his eyes open. "I'll have my usual. Extra topping to the latte, actually." He said tiredly, not bothering to look at his server.  
  
"Lance?" Hunk's voice asked incredulously from over the counter. "Man, I haven't seen you in ages. I've been busy with jobs, I got a whole bunch. In fact, this is a new job. Also, I mean, I guess it would be cuz you've been with Allura a lot lately. How is she? Is she well? What are you--" Hunk began a barrage of good-natured questions, before stopping abruptly. "Are you okay, Lance? You seem... tired. Colourless."  
  
Lance nodded. "Yeah, I - I'm fine. I just need a coffee."   
  
Hunk looked concerned but nevertheless went into the back to prepare Lance's order. Doing this, he was deep in thought, thinking about his long-absent friend. He snuck a glance over at Lance and Allura, wherein Allura talked animatedly and Lance sat, absorbed in her words. He didn't attempt to speak, and she didn't offer him a chance to.  
  
Something was wrong. He didn't have much experience with soulmates, but he knew it was a two-way street, where both loved one another equally. Allura seemed to have no feelings for Lance, while Lance was infatuated.  
  
"Order up, guys." Hunk grinned, walking happily to where Lance and Allura sat together. He deposited the food into the table where it cleaned invitingly.   
  
   Lance picked up his latte, simply holding it in his long fingers, soaking up the warmth before taking a long sip. Unfortunate,ly it would take a far more potent brew to ease his tiredness.  
  
   "So... you guys reckon you're soulmates, huh?" Hunk asked suspiciously into the silence.  
  
   "Yep," Lance replied, while Allura stayed silent.  
  
   "Well, I have to get back to work," Hunk said hesitantly. "I'll see you later, I hope. Lance, you have to promise that we'll meet up soon."

 

Lance began his walk to the old cafe. The one he had loved so much for so long. He hadn't been there in a long time, although it was no fault of Lance. Allura didn't care much for Lance's favoured cafe, and he adored her too much to go against her wishes.  
  
"Lance! Wow, you're actually here. I mean, I never doubted your loyalty or anything, it's just I thought you'd be busy with Allura," Hunk's nervous voice said from their usual seat.  
  
"Yeah, I'm here," Lance smiled, with only a hint of his usual enthusiasm. "Sorry it took so long, is there something going on? Your voice sounded pretty stressed before on the phone."  
  
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," Hunk smiled nervously. "I just... I don't think Allura is your soulmate."  
  
Lance blinked, his smile fading. "Hunk, I don't know what you're talking about, but I don't wanna hear it," He snarled. "Is this what I get?" He drew a hand over his face, his expression dripping with fatigue. "I'm sorry I haven't seen you a lot lately, Hunk, but she's my  _soulmate_."  
  
Hunk's expression grew sad, "Lance, I would never lie to you - you're my brother. I'm sorry this isn't the news you wanna hear, I truly am, but I feel that I have to save you."  
  
Lance stood angrily, "You know what, Hunk? I don't have to listen to this anymore! You don't know how it feels to be around her, she's my soulmate - I can feel it."  
  


Lance was at his new job, and to be honest? He wasn't entirely sure how he had gotten another so fast. He had been fired from his previous job after acting up; namely getting annoyed at his boss's homophobia.   
  
Homophobia hit a little too close to home for Lance, seeing as he was bisexual. He hadn't come out to many people, not even his friends, now another person to add to the list of who knew.  
  
So yeah, he had just arrived, and to his dismay, a certain other person was also there. Keith. Just Lance's luck.  
  
At first, the only notice Lance paid to Keith was a constant glare, until his eyes got a little tired. He had to admit, Keith was kind of cute, if not annoying.  
  
Lance shook his head irritably - he shouldn't be thinking this about his rival. But hey— he had eyes. It  _should_ have helped that Keith didn't even look at him, but it didn't. It just made him even more annoyed, and he had no idea why. He shouldn't have cared, but he did, and that fact itself annoyed him beyond reason.  
  
So he continued his work, fighting to keep uninterested in Keith. What a useless endeavour that turned out to be.  
  
Lance's boss walked over to the two, an eternal frown on his face, "Keith, this is Lance. Lance, this is Keith. I'm introducing the two of you now because you'll be working together very closely in the near future."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! I adore this chapter cause Klance is blooming! Can we appreciate Phil Lester's new video now? Please?


	5. Chapter 5

Keith had just gotten a new job after he had been... let go of his previous one. It sucked, but unfortunately, it was nothing new.

   Although, there  _was_ one thing different. Lance McClain, a boy from his previous work, was now conversing with him. Talk about something  _extremely_ different. And no, if you don't think that is a shocking development then you don't know Lance at all.

   You see, Lance was one of those gifted people; the introvert that everyone likes and relates to. He seemed nice, genuinely happy with his lot in life, popular, well-liked, and Keith hated him for it.

   Keith had never talked to lance, and up close, the man wasn't all that great. He had rumpled hair, pallid skin and bags under his eyes, his smile that was easy and vibrant from afar seemed forced. Keith could have sworn he was depressed. Except... Lance hadn't always been like that, had he?

   "Hey," Keith smiled shyly. "What's your name?" Keith frowned at himself. He wasn't entirely sure why he was so blatantly lying, but it might have had something to do with the fact that Lance probably didn't know Keith's name.

   "Uh," Lance smiled with the ghost of a smirk, "The name's Lance."

   Keith's eyes widened, and he hoped Lance hadn't noticed. So, he'd never seen Lance's amazing smile up close... it was nice. No, it was more than nice, it was both heart-warming and heart-wrenching.

"Keith, you think I could get a hand over here?" Lance called drily.

Keith blinked, oblivious to the fact that Lance had already known Keith's name. Well, perhaps somewhere deep in his brain he noticed, but as oblivious as he was? He probably put it down to good memory or something.

"Of— of course. What do you need help with?" He quickly recovered from his brief stuttering and managed to push all thoughts aside.

Five minutes later, Keith could tell Lance was bored. It was all in the body language.

"So..." Lance grinned, "You got any siblings? What school do you go to? What's up with that mullet, dude?" Lance began a barrage of questions, an attempt at amiable chatter.

Keith answered them quietly and quickly, not putting himself forward in any way, much to Lance's discontentment.

   Lance stared up at the faraway clock, unable to see the obscure numbers, so instead of taking the effort to walk a mere few steps closer, he reached into his back pocket to grasp his phone.

   "Aw, yeah!" Lance grinned up at Keith, "Lunch."  
 _Oh, no..._ Keith blinked, staring just a little too long at Lance. His blue eyes shining with excitement, and the way he looked up from under his lashes as he stared up at Keith.

   "So?" Keith asked irritably. "It's not like I have anywhere to go for lunch in the first place."

   Lance looked concerned. "Keith, lunch is always treasured, it means a brief period of time dedicated wholly to eating, and having a break from work. It must always be looked forward to, lest you anger the mighty lunch god."  
   Keith raised an eyebrow.

   "You can hang with me, Kogane. Shout me lunch, and we'll get along just fine."

They went to a little cafe down the road, with healthy food options and tea.

   "This is actually my favourite cafe," Lance smiled sadly. "I don't come here much anymore though."

Keith raised his eyebrows, and sat down in silence. He had no idea what to say, so he ignored the problem until Lance's gaze refocused and he smiled again.

He tugged on Keith's arm, pulling him toward the counter. "What do you want, Keith? I recommend some nice black coffee to compliment your emo attitude."

Keith blinked, sighing and allowing himself to be pulled to the other side of the store. "I'll have a strawberry tea, thanks," Keith said quietly.

The worker blinked, smirking a little, "Of course, and would you like a complimentary scone with that?"

Keith shrugged, "Sure."

He reached into his pocket for his wallet.

"Hey, Keith, what are you doing?" Lance asked confusedly.

"Well, you said I could come with you if I paid. So I'm paying."

Lance shook his head, smiling. "No, no, no. Keith, I was  _kidding_. Don't worry, I'm paying."

Keith blinked, unsure of what to say. Lance began to talk to the worker (read: flirt) So Keith wandered back to his seat, waiting for Lance to come back.

"Well, thanks for waiting for me, Mullet," Lance said sarcastically.  
Keith shrugged. "There was nothing left for me to do."

Lance opened his mouth, but fortunately for Keith, Lance's protests were cut off by the ringing of a phone. Keith's phone to be exact.

Swiping accept, a loud voice resonated from the speaker.

" _Keith, I'm bored,"_ the voice announced. " _Entertain me."_  The phone wasn't on speaker, but that didn't change the fact that Lance could still hear the voice clearly.

"Hey, I recognise that voice," Lance said, leaning forward. "Is that Allura Altea?"

"Um, yes?" Keith replied suspiciously, a defensive tone prominent on his voice. "What's it to you?"

"No way! She's totally my friend too," His eyes got that wonderful sparkle in them. "She should introduce us! Well, I mean, not  _introduce-_ introduce, but well... you know what I mean!"

"I don't know..." Keith said reluctantly.

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun," Lance wheedled. "We can get to know each other more. It could be useful, seeing as we work together."

"Okay," Keith agreed dubiously.

"I can't believe him!" Keith ranted, having gotten off work and was now sitting with Shiro. "Now he wants to get to  _know_ me." He said with revulsion.

"I don't know, Keith. It could be good. You could have a new friend."

"Shiro, you don't know Lance. He just wants to annoy me, with his irritatingly perfect, shit-eating smirk. Urgh." He covered his face with his hands.

"So you think he's attractive?" Shiro asked, an eyebrow raised.  
"No!" Keith backtracked quickly, eyes wide.

"Don't worry Keith. To be honest, I'm relieved. Adam and I were worried we'd raised a straight," Shiro joked.

"Whatever," Keith mumbled.

Shiro sighed, "Keith, when was the last time you made a friend?"

Keith shifted uncomfortably, "Um... when did I meet Allura?"

" _See?_ " Shiro grinned triumphantly. "You need new friends."

"I don't  _want_ to," Keith whined. "I'm perfectly happy with the friends I've got."

"Nah bro, you need to get out more, you little loser," Shiro grinned.

"But he's  _straight_!" Keith wailed miserably.

Shiro pointed at him with a grin prominent on his lips, "Aha! So you  _do_ think he's attractive."

Keith covered his face again, "Fine! Yes, I do. But it's not as easy as it was with you and Adam. You were soulmates! I don't even  _have_ a soulmate."

Shiro's gaze softened, "Keith, you're not any less valid whether or not you have a soulmate, you're still a part of society and you matter just as much. Now, go home, you need to get ready for your date." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"It's not a date!" Keith yelled, grabbing the first thing he could find— a pillow, and throwing it at Shiro's face.

Shiro caught it and placed it neatly back on his couch. "Go  _home_ ," Shiro repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment bc i have no self esteem and my inadvertent goal in life is to please people!
> 
> that's all the chapters for today, you'll have to wait until friday for the nxt chapter


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hi there in my time zone it’s wednesday (idk about y’all) and guess what? I decided to upload on Wednesday’s! We’ll see how it goes

Keith showed up a tiny bit late, but what did it matter? It wasn't something important now was it? Certainly not something that warranted either formal attire or even anything formal at all.

It was supposed to be a casual thing, but still Keith felt sick in the bottom of his stomach. And could you blame him? It was the first date he'd been on in months - and he used the term date loosely. Besides, this was only about the second time he'd ever spoken to Lance. What if Lance didn't like him?

And it wasn't even as if he liked Lance that way. No, that wasn't why he was nervous at all. He just didn't like to be disliked. It was... uncomfortable. What could he say - he was an introvert, and not the gifted introvert Lance was, as quiet and thoughtful as he was.

Keith entered the restaurant and chose a table with three seats. He rocked back on the legs of his chosen seat, deep in thought.

Maybe Lance wasn't an introvert. Sure, he showed signs of being an introvert. He was thoughtful, quiet, he listened. But then, he also wasn't. He could be loud, he was well liked, he could talk to people. So, he must have been somewhere in between.

"Having fun?" Lance's voice sounded right behind Keith, almost making him fall off his chair.

"Yeah, of course. So fun." Keith replied quietly, a tiny bit of sarcasm on his voice.

A waiter arrived, notepad and menu in hand, "And what can I get for the couple?" The waiter asked pleasantly, rewarding the two with a wink.  
"Uh, actually—" Keith began.

"We were just about to order. I'll take chicken carbonara."

Keith gave Lance a strange look, but nonetheless played along. "I'll have the salmon." He said grudgingly.

The waiter nodded, walking away.

"What was that about?" Keith demanded, not at all happy about his current situation.

"Well, being 'gay' is something people like, right? Discounts galore!" Lance sang.

Keith looked at him distastefully, "So you'll just lie about your sexual orientation for cheaper food?"

"Yep. Well, kind of. Not really," Lance rubbed his forearm uncomfortably. "It's hard."

Keith nodded, deciding not to push it."

Allura walked in about five minutes later, wearing a pink ensemble that looked good with her... hair? Keith wasn't sure, all he knew was that she looked nice.

"Keith and I have ordered," Lance said, eyes on Allura. He began to lean forward without even noticing. "But I'm sure we can get the waiter back over." He was pretty much purring, smooth body language shown. Except he didn't look entirely smooth. He looked a tiny bit frazzled.

"It's ok, Lance. I'll just go up to the serving area and order my food there." To make her point, she walked up to the counter, not allowing any of Lance's protests to reach her.

Keith and Lance sat in silence, although not by Lance's choice. If Lance had his way, they would be chatting casually, maybe getting to know each other a little more; after all, that was the whole purpose of this get together, wasn't it?

But Keith wasn't having any of it. He was putting out his don't touch me vibe. He didn't even want to be here, he didn't want the small talk, he didn't particularly want to see Allura right now, and he certainly didn't want Lance. So yeah, he was quiet and sullen. In his experience, it shut people down quickly.

Allura came back, sitting back down. "Our food should be coming soon—" She said happily. "Oh... why so quiet?"

"No reason, we're just not really in a talkative mood, are we, Lance?" Keith said quickly.

Lance looked over at Keith strangely at Keith using a collective term for them, but nonetheless nodded, agreeing.

"Ok..." Allura blinked. "So how did you two meet?"

"Keith and I work together." Lance replied, eyes on the waiter as he walked toward the table with wine in hand.

The waiter presented the wine, and Allura poured herself a glass.  
"Uh, we didn't order this." Lance said.

"Oh, no that was all me," Allura said, a small smile spreading across her face. "I haven't had wine in a long time. It's been a stressful week."

Keith eyed her doubtfully before shrugging. "So how did you two meet?"  
Allura pursed her lips, taking a dainty sip of wine. All of a sudden her happy persona was gone, and she looked at Lance unhappily."

Lance of course, noticed nothing of the sort, "We're soulmates. Pidge found us for one another." Cue another glance from Allura.

Keith raised his eyebrows, "How lovely." He couldn't save himself from the sour tone in his voice.

Silence fell, remaining until the waiter came back with their food. Most of the awkward atmosphere stemmed from Keith, although he wasn't sure why. He didn't care for Lance so much that he regretted the fact that Lance had a soulmate.

No, it was more like his loss. It reminded him that his lack of a soulmate ensured that it was entirely possible he would never find someone who would be to him what a soulmate would have been. He would be alone-- always. And generally, this wouldn't matter; not to him anyway. But this time it did, now that Keith had seen how happy soulmates were together.

"Mmm..." Lance said with his mouth full, "This is amazing." A sly grin darted across his face, disappearing as fast as it came.

Keith took a fork and tore a bit of meat off his dish, barely hiding a smile as it came off easily. He lifted it to his mouth, now hardly bothering to hide the smile.

Lance's fork danced along the table, taunting both Allura and Keith. Keith's eyes followed him, a confused frown growing. After only a few seconds Keith tired of the game, glancing up at the clock. It had only been twenty minutes.

"Mmm, this salmon is good." Lance said. "Nice choice, Keith."  
Keith looked over at Lance, who was lifting another forkful of Keith's meal to his lips.

Keith slammed his hands against the table, standing up. "Don't." He said, seething with anger. Instead of sitting back down, he stalked away, unsure of where he was headed.

He ended up in the bathroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror. Why on earth had he reacted so strongly? It wasn't as if he wasn't used to people stealing his food. Something about Lance just... put him on edge, he supposed. It didn't help that Lance had reminded him of his worthlessness. And yeah, usually he welcomed that, it reminded him that he was as imperfect as humanity had shaped him to be.

Walking back to the table, he placed a previously written check on the table before leaving the restaurant without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this chapter with such short notice that i'm sure it's pretty bad. should i update once a week or twice a week?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith heads to an old hang out to take his mind off of Lance, however, it doesn't exactly work out. He comes home to find Shiro, but he's not just there for bants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH IM SO SORRY THAT THIS IS SO LATE I feel kinda sorta definitely been puking my guts out ahah
> 
> guess who's coming soon - Adam's coming soon! stay tuned for some special adashi action soon

It had been a day since the disastrous event in which Keith hadn't been able to handle simple facts, and Keith had skipped work. He wasn't exactly sick, he simply felt terrible.

That being said, he was also avoiding Lance.

"Keith!" Lance bounded over with a genuine grin plastered across his face.

"Oh," Keith blinked at Lance. "Hey."

A pout drew itself across Lance's face, "Are you mad at me?" He asked. "Is it because of the food? If it is, then I'm sorry. I was just trying to lighten the mood."

Keith made a face, "It's not about the food. I just... I'm so tired, Lance. I just want to be left alone."

Lance remained concerned, hurt all across his face. "Okay, but I'm gonna be off work tomorrow. I'm 'sick', so we'll need to swap numbers. I'll need to stay updated." He managed a wink and a grin, but it was clear that he was still a little hurt. It didn't matter. It shouldn't matter. But for some reason it did, and Keith couldn't fathom why.

After work, Keith headed straight to his old hangout-- the graveyard. There he found other 'emos' as society labelled them. He used to be one of them. He remembered it, and he remembered the anger. Outlawed all because of a stupid label humanity made for people they didn't understand.

He walked up to a group of people smoking, and he recognised some of his old friends. And he used the term friends very loosely. He hung out with them because there was nowhere else to go; he had never related to them nor liked them in any way. But that may have been because they were more scene. He would far sooner hang out in a bookstore, in fact, he often wanted to, but they would stare at him, and he didn't like being stared at.

"Keith?" One of the people asked incredulously.

"That's me," Keith replied wearily.

"Where did you go? Why did you stop coming here?" They said angrily. "We missed you." Lies. All lies, they just wanted his money for booze.

"I got a job. I got a life." Keith said wearily.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. I'm just going to sit over there and not bother anyone." Keith trudged away and did exactly as he said, taking out a book and a torch as he turned the pages.

"Keith, it's okay. We've pulled our lives together too, we're not the same people as we were."

Keith glanced up, "I'm reading." He said coldly. "Leave me alone. Please."

Everyone exchanged a glance before retreating and leaving Keith alone with his thoughts. On second thought, that wasn't a great idea. He closed his eyes, trying to think of anything but Lance.

He felt bad. Extremely bad. He shouldn't, though, he knew that. He knew it wasn't his fault or anything. Lance was just... difficult. Keith couldn't understand him. Hell, he couldn't even understand why he wanted to understand Lance. Nothing made sense, and it scared him.

 

He unlocked the door to his apartment, only to find Shiro perched awkwardly on the edge of the couch.

"Keith..." He began wearily. He hesitated for a second. "We need to talk."

Keith groaned, "Oh, no Shiro, no." He flopped down on the couch opposite to where Shiro was sitting. "Don't tell me, the sex talk. Don't worry Shiro, I won't get anyone pregnant. I learned from that mistake years ago when I got my boyfriend pregnant."

Shiro shot Keith a wicked side eye, glaring at Keith. "Keith, don't. I'm not in the mood for jokes. I want to talk to you about your social life."

Keith raised an eyebrow, "Okay mom."

Shiro sighed, "Keith, please. Just listen. You have to make new friends. I know you used to be 'emo' and I know you always went on about how society rejected you so you rejected society, but your emo phase is over. It's time to move on, find happiness, find friends."

Keith stood up, rage simmering in his eyes. "You know what?" He said calmly. Too calmly. It was that scary calm, when you know the storm is coming, you just don't know when, where you get that uneasy feeling crawling up your back. "Fuck you. Maybe I don't even want friends Shiro. Especially now I've got a taste of what friendship is about. And I'm not just meaning Lance." He stared at Shiro pointedly.

Shiro glared at him. He wasn't good at the calm, threatening anger, much as he tried. "You want to talk about friends, Keith?" Shiro screamed. "Don't you think friends should respect each other?" He took a deep breath, scowling.

Keith smirked, "Shiro, if you want to talk to me about respect, just don't. Not now, not ever. After all, I'm just a college guy just out of his emo phase, right? RIGHT?" He lifted his arm, extending his index finger toward the door.

Shiro stared at Keith, a metaphorical deer in the headlights (duh). He hadn't had Keith's anger directed at him before, and he had barely scratched the surface. "You want me to leave?" He asked in a quiet voice.

Keith said nothing, staring at him silently.

"Oh," Shiro said quietly. "Oh, ok." He retreated quietly, not used to Keith's anger and obvious pain. He opened the door, stepping outside. He left the door open a crack, peeking inside, his gaze on Keith.

Keith had his head in his hands, remaining silent for a few seconds. Then he unleashed a scream that rattled his bones and scorched his throat. Obviously satisfied, he stood up, moving with a perfectly pleasant expression to the kitchen to make himself some food.

From there he must have noticed Shiro standing in the doorway, looking horrified.

Keith made eye contact with Shiro, staring at him as he retreated to his cd player. He slowly picked out a cd, still staring at Shiro. He pushed it in, pushing play.

It was 'Welcome to the Black Parade' by My Chemical Romance. He smiled coldly at Shiro, walking over to him and closing the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dirty laundry is life, bitch. If y'all haven't read it then wtf are you doing here go read it


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day, Lance comes to work to find Keith in a bad mood, and Lance discovers how dependent on Keith he is. Luckily Pidge is there to help Lance figure some shit out.
> 
> And— ooh what’s this? Is that edgelord Keith I hear?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello internet, it’s wednesday, so y’all know what that means. Another chapter, here ya go lads. Also, little known fact, I’m looking for a beta. I’ll put more info at the end note and in the next chapter.

Lance was currently at work, a side effect of Saturday. Normally this wouldn't be too bad, after all, a side effect of work was money, but Keith was ignoring him, and he was wearing black. Not to mention a lip piercing which was kind of hot. Not that Lance thought so.

"Hey, Keith," Lance wandered over. "Wanna grab some lunch soon?"

Keith sighed irritably and took a step back, "No."

Lance raised his eyebrows, "Why not?" He asked in much the same manner Keith had. "It's not like you have anything better to do."

Keith shrugged, "If I'm honest, anything is better than what you're proposing. I'll probably just hang outside and listen to music."

"That's loitering you know."

"You think I care?"

Lance was taken aback, and scrambled to make amends quickly, "What music were you planning to listen to?"

Keith shrugged, "Emo Trinity, Green Day, Good Charlotte, Black Veil Brides. The works."

Lance bit his lip, "Oh." He barely knew those songs, and he felt Keith drifting away more every second. He didn't even know why he cared but he did. Keith had acted so cold, and it all happened after the 'date'. Keith had stormed off, and Lance was certain it was his fault. He knew it, and he spared himself no details.

Keith would never act the same around Lance at all. It was all Lance's fault and he had ruined their friendship. Ruined, ruined, ruined.

He cursed himself, reminded himself of all his faults.

"You see? This is why you can't have friends, Lance. You ruin everything."

Lance said nothing to argue with that. It was a fact, plain and simple. He was a terrible person, and to be honest, he didn't blame Keith for acting like this, not when it was around Lance.

_Incoming call: Allura_

Lance picked up his phone, swiping his thumb to the left to allow the phone call through.

"Lance," Allura said, a smile in her voice. "I was just wondering if you wanted to meet me at that cafe we like in, oh, five minutes?"

Now, normally Lance would have rejoiced at this idea, especially as Allura had called Lance first, so he wasn't sure why he suddenly didn't care. And it was true, he didn't care that Allura wanted to meet up with him. Maybe he was just going through a mourning period - after all, he was entirely sure the friendship Lance and Keith shared was now dead.

"Okay," Lance said finally, all emotion gone from his voice. "I'll come."

And so it was that Lance found himself opening the door to the cafe Allura liked so much, sitting down without a trace of a smile.

Allura began to talk about something excitedly, moving her hands about wildly.

Normally Lance would have been entranced, gazing at Allura, watching her movements. Now? Not so much.

Allura narrowed her eyes, leaning forward. "Lance, are you okay?" She asked, genuine concern in her eyes.

"Hmm?" Lance barely looked up from his clasped hands, "Yes, just perfect."

Allura frowned, "Lance," She said very seriously. "I promise to leave you to your privacy, but if you are hurting, I promise you can tell me."

Lance nodded. He stood up, brushing himself down even though his clothes were impeccable. "I promised Pidge that I would meet up with her later. I'll see you later?" He offered Allura the first smile he had given all day, and it was still forced.

Allura looked somewhat taken aback, and for once Lance didn't ask what was wrong or comfort her.

"Lance!" Pidge called, waving her hands from her usual spot on her roof. "What are you doing here?"

  Lance shrugged, walking inside Pidge's house and up the stairs, climbing out of the window in order to reach her. "It's all a mess, Pidge. Everything's a mess." He sighed and sat down next to Pidge, his knees drawn up in front of him.

  "What's a mess?" Pidge asked, "What's wrong, Lance. You have to tell me." Pidge wasn't used to seeing Lance like this. Lance never showed this side of himself.

  "It's Keith, Allura, Hunk, just  _everything!_ " He took a deep breath, calming himself. "But mostly Keith."

  "That tells me nothing," Pidge replies impatiently.

  "Fine. Keith is mad at me, something feels off about Allura, and Hunk is convinced that Allura isn't my soulmate. Which is, by the way, entirely untrue. I adore Allura."

  Pidge narrowed her eyes, "But is it reciprocated? How does she act around you? Is she equally infatuated?"

  "I don't know." Lance cowered under Pidge's harsh barrage of questions, his voice sounding broken. "And I have no idea why Keith is such a problem. I barely know him."

  Pidge leaned back, her chin resting on clasped hands. "I don't know what to tell you, Lance. I'm just no good with this sort of thing."

  Lance nodded placidly, "I know. I just needed to get it out."

  "Any idea why you're so attached to him? Keith I mean." Pidge asked, suddenly curious and scooting closer.

  "How should I know? Why does it matter? I mean, friends care about each other,  _right?_ "

  "Friends, huh?" Pidge shot Lance a smirk. "Well, in that case, go talk to him. Friends do that y'know."

  Lance shook his head in dismay. "Me? Talk to Keith? Have you  _met_ Keith? I think not."

  Pidge shrugged, pushing her glasses up her nose, "Your choice, Lance. You could make this better. Don't come crying to me when everything goes awry."

  Lance shrugged, "If you say so."

  And just like that, the conversation was over. Pidge went back to typing and Lance looked up at the sky, gazing up at the clouds.

  It was a gloomy sort of a day, and he supposed it was fitting. It suited his mood as he thought of his current situation. All of his problems were reflected in the cloud, getting bigger and bigger. Aaaand... it was about to rain.

  The two hurried inside, working to shield Pidge's computer. To make up for the lack of sun, Pidge grabbed the two of them snacks and heaped up blankets and pillows from all over the house. Then, bringing Pidge's laptop into the mix, they opened Netflix and debated what to watch.

  They called Hunk and asked - no,  _ordered_ him to come over. They made a mound of pillows and blankets and settled in, chattering comfortably.

  It was nice, and it almost distracted Lance from his troubles. Stress on almost. He knew he'd have to make a decision, and soon. Otherwise, it would be too late. But for now... well. For now, Lance was happy with procrastinating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep I’m looking for a beta, so pm me or leave a comment if you’re interested. Don’t forget to tickle that kudos button if you liked this bc it makes me feel good lol


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith hasn't done much the last couple of days. He's been on tumblr mainly, but when he gets a frantic call from Allura, he goes down to the cafe for a bit of social interaction. His quiet visit doesn't go completely as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops I am LATE

Keith was still angry at his situation. It was mainly Shiro. All Shiro saw was what he used to be, and maybe he still had parts of his old self, but was that such a bad thing? Emos weren't bad. Emos contribute to society and they are still valid people.

But he still figured that he'd better go to work.

It would be a long day, he knew that much, and hours of packing boxes, he was ready for lunch. And you should know he wasn't really into a lunch sort of set up, he usually preferred to be alone. Now he was willing Lance to stumble across him and invite him to lunch.

Of course, that never happened. Lance had gone silent. He'd only seen the ghost of Lance at work, a sliver of his usual self, and he seemed to be ignoring Keith.

Okay, so maybe Keith should have expected this, considering his rude *reaction* to all things Life, but it still hurt. At he was still annoyed at himself for caring so much. It was just that Lance was the first person to treat him like a human being in a long time, and he was always so happy and enthusiastic and—

Keith! Keith scolded himself. You realise this is your fault. All your fucking fault. Don't dwell on it or you'll feel even more shit.

Keith gave himself a mental shrug. After all, he wasn't wrong.

He sighed, reaching for his phone. He figured if he was going to mope he might as well hate life with millions of other angsty emo/gay/fandom people. That's right— tumblr.

He whipped up an cynical, the-world-is-shit text post and started scrolling through his feed, mostly gay ships. A bit of Drarry here and there. Okay, fine. Mostly Drarry.

Unfortunately the moment he found a fluffy, well-drawn post, he was interrupted. Of course, Allura just had to ring him at that moment.

"Keith, I'm in a spot of bother." Allura's voice on the other end sounded marginally panicked, although she attempted to downplay it.

"What's—"

"I have to break some unfortunate news and I can't do it alone. Please. I really need someone with me. We'll meet at that cafe Lance said he took you to that one time. Thank you so much."

The call ended, and Keith knew that despite Allura not asked whether he would do it or not, he wouldn't bail on her. If he was honest, he would have obliged whether she asked him or not.

He gathered his things, which was literally just his phone and wallet, and hopped in his shitty car, trying to remember where to go.

He got there quite quickly— it turned out he remembered the way better than he thought. He noticed Allura's car parked out the front (it was a pretty good car), and Lance's shotty car too.

Keith groaned as he realised the implications of this. Lance was the one Allura was breaking the news to, evidently. Keith didn't want to be there when Lance was disappointed. He didn't want Lance to associate him with that same disappointment. Plus Lance was avoiding him.

He considered leaving, telling Allura something important came up. But he didn't. He stayed in the cafe against his better judgement and walked through the door.

Allura waved him over, and Lance sat next to Allura, looking glum.

"Oh, Keith. I'm so glad you came." She began a mindless chatter, with no real meaning behind it, although a lot of anxiety.

"Okay, Allura, get to the point," Lance said wearily, dragging a hand down his face and squeezing his eyes shut with exhaustion. "Keith is obviously here for a reason, and I just really need to get going."

"Oh," Allura said, her eyes wide with surprise, "This may be hard to hear, but I couldn't keep it to myself, knowing that I was lying to you. You're not my soulmate, Lance. I love you, just... not that way." She smiled sadly. "I have a soulmate, and I don't want to talk about it, but he's not you."

Keith looked from Allura to Lance with wide eyes, shocked at what was going down.

Lance narrowed his eyes and pushed his chair back, causing it to make a scraping sound. The whole cafe turned to look at the table, but Lance didn't seem to care, stalking into the bathroom without a word.

Keith gestures helplessly, "I should..." he snapped his mouth shut, lost for words and ran after Lance.

Lance looked up as Keith walked in. He pushed himself away from the basin in a jerky motion and sighed. "Pidge warned me about this." He said. "She asked if Allura reciprocates my feelings you know. I'm so stupid. I thought I could finally be happy. I thought maybe I'd found my soulmate. But I was wrong. I don't have a soulmate. I'm so fucking dumb."

Keith put his hand on Lance's shoulder, a soft movement. "Lance." His voice was soft too. "I don't have a soulmate either, so. Suck. It. Up. You don't see me moping, now do you?" His voice bit out harshly, so at odds with his physical actions.

Lance tensed up, "You know what Keith? I have been so tolerant of you. I even bought you lunch, I befriended you when no one else wanted to. They call you a freak, you know. Leave me alone." He shook Keith's hand off his shoulder and stalked off, leaving Keith standing there, in front of the sink, watching him.

But it had worked. Lance was no longer thinking of Allura. And it seemed that was all that mattered. He left the bathroom in time to see Lance's car pull out and drive away.

Keith walked past Allura, and she made a grab for his arm. The smile she wore was grateful.

"Don't touch me." Keith snarled. "You have no idea how much that boy loved you. I can't believe you called me here for this."

Allura looked appalled, "You don't even particularly like Lance. You're always so annoyed at him."

Keith shifted uncomfortably, "That doesn't mean he has to be in pain . . ."

Allura's face fell, but she said nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hi there, pm me or leave a comment if your interested in betaing this heap, and don’t forget to tickle that kudos button to make me feel appreciated bc that’s what we all want most in life yep that’s definitely it haha


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let’s be honest, after the whole Allura ordeal, Lance isn’t doing great. Keith’s being super nice, though, which is nice, I’m sure, but Lance isn’t ready to deal with real life right now. And what’s his solution? To go on a date of course.
> 
> (Cut him some slack, he’s not thinking properly)

Lance drove back to work. He considered bailing and calling in sick or something, but he needed the wages. He really didn't want to face Keith after the harsh words on both of their parts, mostly because he knew Keith was right. He needed to suck it up. And they had something in common.

Their lack of a soulmate. Not really what Lance wanted to bring them together, but what could you do. Not that Lance wanted anything to bring them together or anything.

So Lance resolved to ignore Keith. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him. Maybe it was the fresh heartbreak. There had to be a reason why he was acting so weird.

Somehow Keith beat him to work, and was waiting just inside the door for him.

"You alright?"

"Fine." Lance replied, breezing past him and into work.

"Okay." Keith replied placidly, smiling at him without pushing anything.

Lance cleared his throat and walked over to his station, trying to give out the signal that he wanted to be left alone.

Keith wasn't taking the memo. Throughout the rest of the day Keith was extra nice to him, shooting him little smiles even though Lance never smiled.

Lance realised that despite his hostility toward Keith, it wasn't going to change that Keith was a metaphorical light shining through metaphorical clouds.

Nonetheless, he was still confused. Lance hadn't even apologised. So he decided to consult the all knowing master - Hunk.

He put his plan for answers into action after work, driving straight to Hunk's place. Well, straight as a bisexual can. Yes— Lance was so hysterical that he was resorting to gay puns that no one could even hear.

"Hunk!" Lance shrieked, pressing the big man's doorbell violently.

"Jeez, Lance, I'm coming!" Hunk's muffled voice came through the wood, sounding amused.

The door opened just a crack, but it was enough to shimmy through. Well, at least that's what he usually did. For once he waited until it was open all the way.

"Alright Lance. Tell me what's wrong." Hunk said kindly, leading Lance toward his couch.

"You were right. Allura isn't my soulmate. I mean," he grinned hysterically, "She told me herself!"

"She told you herself?" Hunk shrieked.

Lance got up and poured himself a glass of water, his silence answering for itself.

"How did she... y'know... break it to you."

"Oh, you know, called in Keith - whom I'm still having a fight with - and told me straight up."

"Okay, normally I like Allura, but... that bitch."

Lance squeezed his eyes shut, "Yeah, it's just, Pidge being ace and everything she doesn't really get it."

"Well, actually," Hunk fiddled with jus hands, "She may be ace, but experiencing no romantic attraction is aro. So I mean, you're not wrong, it's just the wrong context."

Lance smiled, "How do you know about all those terms? Heteros don't usually know those."

Hunk blanched, "It's just that I figured when you guys all came out and I was the only hetero that I may as well get familiar with your way of life."

"That's really nice Hunk."

Hunk looked away bashfully, "Anyway, you said you and Keith were still fighting. Haven't you apologised yet?"

"Well," Lance said quietly. "I mean, I was meaning to, but all this shit happened and I haven't had the chance."

"But you have to apologise." Hunk said urgently.

Lance cowered into the cushions, trying to sink beneath the soft downs. "I think it may be too late."

"Nonsense."

Lance shook his head, "Maybe you're right, but I think I want to mull things over, first."

He walked out of the door, trying to think of anything except Keith. Hunk had tried to help, he really had, but it wasn't the right kind of help. If he apologised now, Lance knew he would seem like a massive dickwad.

But he also knew he couldn't go back to avoiding Keith, not when he had helped Lance go through this... experience.

In fact, Lance didn't feel terrible, he almost felt fine. Sure, he had been almost in tears at the time, but it was different now. And he had no idea why.

Okay, fine. Maybe he had some kind of an idea why, but it was nothing. It couldn't be, because then it would mean feeling some kind of a similar way about Keith as he did about Allura.

It would mean he relied on Keith and felt some kind of... way, about Keith.

Which he didn't, and of course that meant he was extremely high strung. He needed to relax. Maybe he just needed to go on a date.

He had met this girl called Plaxca the other day. Maybe he could arrange something last minute.

But he couldn't stop thinking about Keith. Keith was great, and even though hey weren't great friends, Keith had been kind to him in a way no one else had. Keith was a great friend.

But... the way Lance was thinking about him hinted something more. Even though he was a friend.

Okay, maybe Lance needed that date more than he thought. He needed to distract himself from Keith and that was final.

So he dialed Plaxca's phone, waiting until she picked up.

"Plaxca speaking", Said the voice in the end.

"Hey Plaxca, it's Lance. Say, do you want to go out on that date I promised you?"

On the other line Plaxca laughed, "I thought I'd never ask."

"So, I take that as a yes."

"Do I need to spell it out for you?" Plaxca laughed.

"Maybe,"

Plaxca laughed again, "Y-e-s."

"Cool, so instead of that cafe we last met-" Lance promised himself it wasn't because he had taken Keith there. "-I'll meet you at the field across the road, we can walk from there."

"Okay," Plaxca said reluctantly, "But what's wrong with the cafe we went to last time."

"Oh, nothing to worry about. I've just visited it a bit much lately."

"Okay," Plaxca said, now happy with their arrangement. "Although there is one small thing."

"What's that?"

"What time are we meeting?"

Lance smiled. A bit anticlimactic, but okay.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith calls Lance to hang out. But Lance is busy with a date you see, he's kind of a dick about it. And Keith is just a lil bit jealous, luckily he can hang out with Shiro and Adam to distract him. Or not, they're far too interested in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late, sorry but i love you!! also my friend is being such a bean, i love her

Keith's eyes darted around his lounge, trying to figure out what it is he could do. Unfortunately, there was - and never has been - anything interesting to do is his living room.

Well, maybe there was - sometimes. But right now he was in one of those moods where nothing appealed to him and no matter what he did he would be perpetually bored.

  Yeah, probably that.

  Unless... well he  _could_ text someone, and he had been meaning to check up on Lance. Two birds with one stone right? Yeah, they could meet up, get something to eat, anything really.

  He grabbed his phone and hopped into the car, waiting for the familiar tone of the phone call. It came and went, " _Lance speaking_ ," Lance's voice said, his tone amused, and another voice laughing in the background.

  "Uh, it's Keith."

  " _Yep. The phone tells me who's calling."_

"Ah."

  Silence.

  "So, I was just thinking that, well, I'm bored. So I was wondering if you were free and want to grab something to eat and hang out or something."  _Good,_  Keith smiled inwardly. He didn't sound too needy or too hopeful.

  " _Well_ ," Lance said smugly. " _Actually, I can't. You see, I'm on a date with a really great girl_." Again, the voice in the background laughed.

  Keith already hated her.

  " _So yeah, I'm busy_."

  "Ok, I guess I'll call Shiro or something," Keith said, but Lance had already hung up.

   His hands inadvertently curled into fists. Keith glanced down and flattened them. Yeah, Lance definitely deserved a date. And he said she was a great girl. He knew it. He knew Lance was straight.

  Not that it mattered.

  But that hadn't given Lance any right to act that way. No. So yes, Keith had any right to be mad. And hurt. But if he was hurt it was just because Keith had been nice to Lance after so much had happened to him. Lance didn't have any right to treat him this way.

  Okay, now he was repeating himself. Great.

  Shiro picked up right away, which Keith appreciated, "Hey Shiro, we should hang out. Besides, I think we should talk."

   _"Sure,_ " Shiro's response was cautious, but he sounded relieved. Why would he...? Oh, right. Keith had entirely forgotten about their 'fight'. It was history now. Keith's only real remaining problem was Lance.

  "Meet you at that coffee shop down the road."

  They hung up, leaving Keith to grab his coat and slip on his shoes. There was no point driving, seeing as the coffee shop was so close, so he grabbed his phone and walked out of the door, ignoring his keys.

  Wait- maybe not a great idea. He rushed toward his door, trying to slip inside before it could close.

  Aaaaaand- too late. The door automatically locked before he could get in. Just his luck.

  He sank to the ground, his back leaning against the door as he pulled out his phone.

  ' _Shiro_ ,' He texted, ' _Change of plan. Meet at my house_.'

  Shiro arrived about three minutes later. He sighed, "Alright Keith, what have you done now?" His tone was disapproving, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face. 

  "Well," Keith began. "I kind of locked myself out of the house. I think I left my bedroom window open, but it leads onto the roof. Second story and all that."

  "So why am I here?"

  "A boost of course."

  Shiro said nothing, only venturing over to the lowest point of the roof and lacing his hands together. "Hurry it up, then."

  Keith put his foot in the nook Shiro had made with his hands, springing up and flying through the air. He caught hold of the edge and pulled himself up, slipping through the window.

  He went back through the house and swiped his keys from the bench, opening the door. "Got the keys!" Keith called triumphantly, brandishing his keys like a trophy. "Let's go!"

  They began to walk in silence. It was almost deafening. 

  "So," Shiro said. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

  "How did you know I didn't just want to hang out with you."

  Shiro fixed him with a  _look_. A look that said,  _come on, Keith. I know you better._

"Yeah, ok." Keith conceded, holding the door open for Shiro. There  _is_ something."

  "Over here." Shiro led Keith over to a table, Adam already seated and waiting. "I forgot to mention - Adam is coming. Uh, surprise!"

  "Okay, well this is actually better. Maybe." Keith said, sliding into one of the seats. "I really need to get this off my chest."

  Adam and Shiro exchanged a  _look_. 

  "So you must know by now that Allura has a soulmate - Lance."

  Another  _look_.

 "Well, earlier today Allura broke the news to Lance that she's not..."

  "...and I was super nice to him all day, and I called him to see if he wanted to hang out, maybe check up on how he was feeling. He was just so  _cold_. And he was rude and he just sounded so  _smug_ when he told me he was on a date."

  "Keith," Adam laughed. "It sounds like you have a crush."

  Keith laughed, "Uh, no. You haven't met Lance."

  Adam shrugged, "From the way you speak of him, well, I ship it."

  Shiro smiled softly, looking into his boyfriend's eyes, "You're so sweet."

  Adam smiled back, leaning in.

  Keith looked away, clearing his throat, "I think I'll order now."

  Shiro and Adam broke away, laughing.

  Keith had no idea why he had acted so awkwardly about them kissing. He had seen them kiss before, in fact, he shipped them extremely hard, and he often worshipped their relationship, setting up dates for them.

  This was weird. What had changed?

  "So," Adam wandered up to Keith, resting an arm on his shoulder companionably. "Watcha ordering?"

  "I was thinking just some tea or something," Keith replied.

  "Mm, Shiro and I were thinking the same."

  Keith nodded, "I'll order for you guys, you go back and hang out with Shiro."

  "Ok," Adam replied with a smile, wandering back. "I ship it!" He called over his shoulder with a huge shit eating grin on his face.

  "Whatever!" Keith replied, glancing back to where Shiro and Adam were now holding hands under the table and smiling softly at each other. It made Keith wonder how Lance's date was going...

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith ends up talking to Allura about the whole soulmate situation, and a few things are explained. And then, because of the writer's intentions of getting in some Shadam fluff, Keith goes to visit them, and ends up hearing some big news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh basically I'm v sorry for missing so many updates in a row, I've just been struggling with dysphoria cos I'm having a masculine dy and MY LEGS ARE SO CURVLY WTF so uh thanks
> 
> also me and my friends finished the umbrella academy twice at 4am this weekend and it was my third time watching it so uh go check it out! ((my repressed ego heart had been waiting for it for five months gerard is my hero))

 

Keith was still incredibly annoyed at Lance and the list of why seemed to be growing all the time.

First Lance had been snappy to Keith, and he seemed to be all the time. Keith often wondered why Lance set him on edge so much. And so many other things had happened, and now Lance had completely dropped off the radar for days. He wasn't coming to work, he wasn't answering texts, he was simply gone...

It shouldn't have bothered Keith so much. He shouldn't be so worried. But he was. He couldn't help it and he couldn't stop worrying that Lance's body was sprawled somewhere far away, cold and lifeless. It was so stupid. It was irrational. It had to stop.

He snatched his keys from their hook and prepared to drive to work.

Except he didn't end up driving to work, he ended up with his forehead resting on the steering wheel and his eyes squeezed shut, Fall Out Boy playing in the background.

He needed to get himself together, and what better way than meeting up with people. Fake it til you make it, right? If only Keith believed he was right.

He arranged to meet Allura after work—yes, Allura of all people. Not his first choice after what had happened with Lance, but she was still a good person, and her intentions were good. Probably.

He met her after work in the park. He couldn't bring himself to go back to the cafe with her after what had transpired there last time. Who could blame him? No one, although even if it was completely understandable he didn't want to tell Allura; he would feel bad.

Yeah, most people are like oh my god, Keith has emotions? Yeah well, fuck you. Of course he has emotions, and he feels bad when he's rude. Well--mostly. Some people deserve it. (You know who you are).

"Keith, you made it!" Allura called over to Keith, a look of desperation and relief ever present on her face.

"Yep," Keith replied, bouncing awkwardly on the balls of his feet. "Yep, I came. Just, uh, wanted to hang out with someone."

"Very good," Allura replied.

Everything fell silent, covered in a blanket of welp-shit-this-is-awkward.

"So I figured that instead of going to a cafe this time we could just go to Subway. I mean, it's pretty much the same thing just all you can get is . . . well, sandwiches." Keith said.

"Sounds good," Allura replied, falling into step with Keith. "So, have you heard from Lance lately?"

Keith frowned, "Actually, no. Have you?"

Allura shook her head, "I haven't heard from him since . . . you know."

Keith nodded. "I figured after I helped him we would have talked more, but he's completely dropped off the radar for days. He hasn't answered my calls, he isn't coming to work. He's just . . . --" Keith gestured helplessly, "--Gone."

Allura nodded, opening the door for Keith.

They ordered and sat down, continuing to talk. Keith found it surprisingly easy to talk to Allura after what had happened. He'd thought it would be harder.

"I just want you to know," Allura said after they sat down, "It's not because of Lance, and I never intended to lea him on. I think I was leading on myself. You see, my soulmate was always Shiro, but he left me. I don't think we ever felt attraction to each other." She sighed. "But I was willing to make it work, and he wasn't. Anyway, he was gay, and I  _don't even feel attraction._ To  _anyone_!"

Keith's eyes widened, "Oh." He said quietly.

"I thought maybe Lance and I could make it work. I hoped we could anyhow. But we couldn't."

Allura's eyes filled with tears, and she wiped them away as their food came. She ate with her head bowed.

"Keith, Allura!" A familiar voice called.

"Speak of the devil," Allura muttered. "Well, I think I'll have this to go," Allura forced a smile. "Keith, Shiro, I'll see you later."

Shiro watched Allura's receding form with confusion in his eyes, but he said nothing. He had a huge grin on his face. Like, huge as in you could see it from miles away.

"So, Shiro, what brings you here?" Keith asked with a forced smile. Not that Shiro would be able to tell.

"Just a bit hungry, that's all," Shiro smiled. "You?"

Keith waved his hand, "Just a lunch date with Allura, you know the deal. We were kind of making amends with each other after . . . what happened with Lance. You know?"

Shiro smiled, "And here I thought you were watching The Addams Family again."

Keith looked indignant, "I would never!"

"Well you did last weekend."

"Whatever. Go order something you asshole."

Shiro came back with an unmistakable grin on his face, and he probably wasn't going to keep it to himself. Any second now he would share it with Keith. Any second . . .

Unless it was something kinky.

"You won't  _believe_ what happened to me the other day."

Keith rolled his eyes, "Here we go . . ."

"Adam proposed to me!"

Keith whipped his head around to Shiro, his eyes wide. "He what?" Keith blinked.

Shiro extended his hand so Keith could see his ring.

"Holy shit. That is. Wow. That sure is an unexpected turn of events."

"Why is it unexpected?"

"Well, I just always thought you'd propose to him, you know?"

"Anyway, I'm going to go see Adam. Later." Shiro got up from his seat and out the door in a flash, that stupid grin still on his face.  
  
  


"Dude. Pidge." Keith grinned, speaking into his phone.

" _Yo, your saviour is here. What can I do for the peasant today._ "

"Oh, just, uh, I'm kind of worried about Lance, you know? He's dropped off the radar for days. He's not returning my calls, and he hasn't been at work."

Pidge laughed hysterically. It was actually more cackling than laughing. " _Oh man_ ," She said. " _Oh_  man.  _He hasn't told you? Oh, this is_ hilarious _. You've been worrying about him, huh? Oh, dude._ "

Keith shifted uncomfortably, "No, he hasn't told me, so spit it out."

" _Dude, he's just visiting his gramps and all that shit._ "

"Oh . . ."

" _Man, you must be feeling so dumb right now!"_

"Shut up!" Keith said. His face was burning. He was mad. He was  _so_ mad. At himself  _and_ Lance. Lance didn't tell him, and now he felt incredibly stupid.

" _I am_ so  _telling Lance!_ "

"Goodbye, Pidge."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has just gotten back from his date *wiggles eyebrows*, and he's met with none other than an order from his abuela, to come visit immediately. Just a couple problems, like, Lance kinda hates visiting.

  Lance opened his door and flung himself on the couch, cursing when his head lolled off the side.

The date had been nice. Great, even. Plaxca was great.

But now there was nothing to do, and he was bored. He considered texting Keith, but after what he had said to him, he wasn't liking his chances. He felt super bad, and he didn't want to put Keith through any of that.

Seriously, Keith had been super nice to him when no one else had wanted to - getting close to a hysterical young adult and all - and he had repaid him like this.

But then Keith was so intense and fierce, and Lance didn't want to look weak, or even that he cared too much.

  Lance leapt to his feet, careening wildly through the living room, looking for something, anything, to distract him. He was usually unbelievably sassy and sarcastic - yes, sassy - to people, and he never felt bad. Yet he felt bad the  _one_ time he acted this way to Keith. This was nonsense.

  Although, he was less sarcastic, more rude, so maybe that counted for something. But it still felt incredibly weird that now he wanted to make amends. Well, he was too scared to make amends, but he got the message itself.

  Distractions - any distractions. Yep, that's what he seemed to be looking for. His eyes fell on his remote. Nothing good would be on satellite, but Netflix followed no such rules - Doctor Who was always available, and if that failed, well... Barbie  _never_ failed.

  He flicked through to find Barbie and clicked play. He was about five minutes in when he started panicking.  _Barbie never failed. Barbie was failing._  Okay, Lance drew in a deep breath. Calm.

  He took his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his contacts. How about he call Pidge? Yeah, good idea. He went into iMessage and-- damn. A message from his Abuela dominated the screen.

  ' _Lance_ ' He could almost hear her voice yelling. ' _You haven't visited us in forever. You must come to see us this soon, which is final._ '

  Lance groaned. Did adults even  _know_ how to text? Apparently not.

Right, there was no putting it off— procrastination. He didn't want to go to his abuela's, and he certainly didn't want to think about Keith. So yeah, fun.

His phone was a no go, seeing as he was trying to avoid his Abuela. The only way he could do that aaa avoid his phone. What had life come to that he was ready and willing to stay off his phone?

He frowned, chewing pensively on his lip. He was sure he had some CDs lying around here somewhere. He looked around and spotted the end of one peeking out underneath who-knows-what.

Lance tugged it out, prying free a copy of Panic! At The Disco's Pretty. Odd.

Man, he used to be obsessed with that band. Ryan Ross was so pretty.  _Pretty odd!_

Yep, Lance thought, sliding the CD into his old stereo. He was dying. Killing himself, making terrible puns that weren't funny in any way. At least Lance was the only one who could hear himself, otherwise, he would have died of embarrassment.

  He ended up listening to the entire album - he'd forgotten how much he loved pre-breakup panic! Particularly Ryan Ross if he were being honest.

  Another message came into his phone, and the curiosity was just eating away at him. He had to know if it was one of his friends or his  _Abuela_.

  He scooped up his phone and turned it on. He felt a smile spread across his face at his good fortune. It was Pidge.  
  
  ' _hey loser_ ' it read, ' _im bored so its your job to make sure i dont set anything on fire'_

  ' _No pretty sure its not....'_

  ' _It definitely is. Besides hunks busy_ '

  ' _Oh yeah? And whos to say im not?'_

  ' _Shame_ '

  Lance groaned, getting up and pacing around the kitchen. ' _Yep, its my abuela_ '

  ' _Rip_ '

  Lance almost felt better, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Instead, he felt much the same. By that, he meant bored. It seemed he was in these moods all too much, now. Everything sucks.

  Especially school. So that hadn't changed.

  He ended up putting Netflix back on, watching a few of his favourite Doctor Who episodes again. As it turned out, he still couldn't watch Silence in the Library without the lights on.

   A text popped up, this time from Lance's Abuela ' _I'm serious, Lance. You must begin your drive tomorrow_ '

  Lance put his head back and groaned. Really? Tomorrow? Well, he supposed he wasn't busy tomorrow. But why? He was dreading what his Abuela would say. She would most definitely ask about his soulmate, and before yesterday he would have been fine with that. Heck - he would have been proud of who his soulmate. Now he was a flaming heap of  _meh_.

  In fact, he now hated all mentions of soulmates, it was his most hated subject, and most of all, he hated that everyone who had a soulmate was so happy. So in love with life.

  And then there was Lance, who was a sarcastic shithead, and Keith, who was a cynical asshole. Man, what a pair. Just proof that not having a soulmate resulted in, well, whatever Lance and Keith were.

Oh well, now he has no choice but to go to visit is Abuela and Abuelo. That woman scared him. Although he would finally get good food after all the months of ramen. Yes, Lance loved ramen, but night after night of it, well... it starts to get old.

  He stared at his phone for a while before creating a group chat with all of his friends. Or at least - the friends who would care.

' _rip. im going to visit my grandparents and i just know theyll ask about my soulmate. wish me luck_.'

  Almost immediately, someone messaged back. ' _Rip_ '

  Lance raised an eyebrow. Of  _course_ , it was Pidge. Who else but Pidge would be sitting on her phone doing nothing? She, like Lance, had no life. His fingers flew across the screen, tapping his message. He needed an adequate response for Pidge to let her know that she had no life. Shouldn't be too hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not lying when I say Ryan Ross is pretty. I know I'm more into girls but femme boys are my weakness. ((edit: guys are hot too. i mean have you seen aidan gallagher wt f ))


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith helps Lance find out his Patronus, and to top that off he acts annoyingly attractive. Fuck, Lance isn't going to get out of this alive, is he?

Lance grinned up at Keith as he walked in with the laptop.

"Lance, what's your email? Hang on-- you're on the wifi, right?" Keith asked.

Lance shrugged.

"Lance!" Keith said in horror, "Why didn't you tell me sooner? How are you supposed to access Netflix and watch Doctor Who when you're at my place?"

Lance grinned, "Oh, so you remembered, huh?"

Keith's smile dropped and he stared off into the distance like he wanted to die. "Please no."

Lance grinned back, "Aw, Keithy. Love you too."

Keith's eyes bulged and he blinked rapidly, "Yeah. Um, what's your email?"

"Why? Trying to get your ins?"

Keith cleared his throat, "No, I need it to create your Pottermore account."

Lance smirked, but it was kind of down. "I know." He tapped the password out in silence. He cleared his throat and leaned over to type in his email.

"There we go," Lance said, the first thing that had been spoken in a good five minutes.

The silence continued, and Lance received the email and created his Pottermore account.

"Just so you know," Keith said finally. "I'm not-- I'm not in love with you. I-- I barely even like you. You're like some annoying rodent. Or something."

Lance shrugged, "I was joking." He turned back to the screen, "Okay, so what do I do now?"

Keith leaned over, "Dude, it's pretty easy. Just tap," He moved the mouse over, "Here."

"Huh," Keith said a moment later, "I guess I should've known. Lance, you are a total Gryffindor. But the shark Patronus... man, what the hell?"

Lance shrugged, a little embarrassed, "Dunno, man. I really don't." It was true. He knew he was acting suspicious, but he honestly had no idea.

"Hey, uh, Keith?" Lance said, taking in a completely different tone.

"Yeah, man?"

"Well, it's just— I know I've been kind of an ass to you since we met, but I'm grateful. Really. I mean, you kind of helped me realise my worth. And no— it was not because of that talk you gave me the other day. Well, mostly."

Keith looked surprised, and he opened his mouth to speak, but Lance didn't give him a chance.

"Basically, it was just the fact that you exist. You - someone who is worthy despite not having a soulmate. It kind of made me think that maybe that reason, the reason that I've based all my fears and insecurities on, doesn't really exist. And my fears and insecurities may still exist, but," He shrugged, "I'm on a better path now. So thanks, Keith."

"Well," Keith says finally, "That's certainly a deep turn this conversation has gone to."

When Lance went home, he had a spring in his step, and a smile, despite the chilling cold. He felt good. This day felt good. He'd been meaning to tell Keith for a while now, but how Keith took it, Lance had no idea.

He hoped Keith had taken it well.

He probably had, right? Yeah.

But what if he hadn't? No. No, it was fine. This was all fine. He didn't know why he was worrying.

Ok, well, maybe he did. Lance cared for Keith, that was all. No underlying emotions there, haha.

Louder than God's revolver and twice as shiny.

Lance frowned - why had those words come to mind? He'd never heard that phrase, and he was too illiterate to come up with it himself.

He opened his phone and the first app it popped up on was notes. More specifically, a note he'd never written. It was a phrase, My Chemical Romance it read, and the next sentence under that was barely coherent - maybe a lyric? Na Na Na. Underneath it all was just -Keith

Lance frowned. Again. What the fuck is that? He shrugged and opened up his laptop to type it in. He's been wondering how the other, bigger, internet was getting on anyway.

So it was a song, and the first phrase was the band. Of that, he was fairly sure. 

The future is bulletproof/The aftermath is secondary/it's time to do it now and do it loud/Killjoys/Make some noise

Wow. Wow. Oh wow. Lance already loved it. This was good. Oof. Why hadn't he expected this? It was Keith. Keith had brilliant everything.

Oh wow, why was he so obsessed with Keith? This was weird. Because he was awesome, that's why. Keith, that is. Keith was great.

Although, he was supposed to go on another date, wasn't he? Yeah. Yeah, he had, one with Plaxca.

He sighed, and he had no idea why. That is, why he wasn't into Plaxca. Besides, last time he went on a date with her he thought about Keith and how bad he was feeling for icing him out.

And now he was thinking about Keith again. Great. He'd felt this before, hadn't he? But it was a more... unhealthy version, with Allura.

Well, this scared him. Oof.

 

The next day, Lance decided to hang out with Keith. Maybe it would help him to realise that he wasn't into Keith like that you weirdo. 

Except when he sat in the seat across from Keith, he knew it was never going to work. Fuck, Keith was too fucking annoying to ever let him go without falling for him, wasn't he?

Yeah. Yeah, he was. 

"So, how come you sounded so flustered this morning?" Keith asked, blowing on a cup of hot coffee. "Some girl ask you out?"

"Uh," Lance stammered his way through an accurate representation of normal conversation, but it clearly wasn't enough. He was terrible at this. "Well, no. You see, I realised I like someone. And that someone would never like me, and they're kind of an asshole."

Keith shrugged, "I feel you, man." He flashed Lance a smile over the rim of his cup, and Lance felt himself melt a little. Man, he hated this.

But it was also one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Welp, time to go brush up on My Chemical Romance in order to impress his new crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys I'm making Keith mega emo, aren't I? WELL IM SORRY I'VE BEEN WATCHING THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY RECENTLY OK FIGHT ME and to top that off I'm currently listening to mcr yeet


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Lance turns up at work after getting back, Keith is sarcastic. Like, more than usual. Which is impressive. Except, he ends up cracking sooner or later. He's a fucking wholesome being inside and no one can change my mind.

Lance was wrecked. He was fucking exhausted, and he's so close to breaking down. Like, so fucking close. If he hit one more red light when he's five minutes away from his house, well. He was either going to laugh and cry. To be honest, probably the latter.

Soon as he got home, he planned on having a nice nap. Maybe some music, maybe a hot chocolate or something. Believe you me, he has nothing against coffee, but he got the feeling he didn't need any more caffeine in his system.

Ugh, what a terrible weekend... Lance's Abuela had been disappointed to no end. And she was way more passive aggressive than anything, leaving Lance stepping on eggshells. It was hardly Lance's fault that he was lacking a soulmate. And it didn't take much for his Abuela to get it out of him.

He groaned as he pulled into his car park. He still had to walk a way away, his apartment hadn't exactly provided a car park.

But it was only a short walk. It was fine. Except for the cold. Man, that cold. That cold was horrible. Terrible. To die for.

Literally.

But it didn't take long to get back home, and it certainly didn't take long to take a fluffy blanket. And it sure as hell didn't take long to become a human burrito with a hot chocolate in hand.

He sighed, telling himself he'd get up in five minutes and do something productive - like studying. Oh crap, his eyes widened. Studying. He hadn't studied in so long. He hadn't gone to classes in so long. A scholarship can only get you so far. Especially only a partial scholarship.

It didn't matter now anyway. He was so sleepy and warm. He'd only close his eyes for a second. Just a second . . .

He opened his eyes blearily and checked the time on his phone.

Damn. It was only on 1%. He'd just have to check the time on his laptop.

He opened his laptop, and his mouth made a little 'o' of surprise. Shit damn, it was the next day already. And shit damn he was late for fucking work.

If he was completely honest, which he usually wasn't, he was kinda sorta possibly planning to bail on work. Except he couldn't, because, you know, money.

Fuck. He hoped Keith wouldn't be there.

Of course, Keith was there when Lance pulled in. Just Lance's fucking luck.

He ducked his head down and tried to avoid Keith's gaze. He wasn't sure why he had thought it would work. The gods frowned upon his fortune. They fucking hated him.

"Dude," Keith said as he wandered up to Lance. "You thought that would work? We work together. Fucking amateur."

Lance scoffed, "Excuse you, I need money."

Keith shrugged, "Doesn't explain why you were avoiding me for days. Seriously, I get no warning. I thought you were dead or something."

"Aww, Keithy, you really do care."

"Whatever. We need to talk."

It wasn't exactly a confrontation that worked in Lance's favour, but he agreed to talk during their break. They were lucky their break fell at the same time. Or unlucky. Whichever way you look at it.

From Lance's perspective, it was probably an unlucky thing. That being said, it was most likely because, with Keith, you were pretty much guaranteed an uncomfortable subject.

Great.

"Dude," Keith said, his hood pulled up ominously as he said, "It's time."

"Wow, man, that's pretty morbid."

"Well, you're not exactly going to like the subject that I want to talk to you about," Keith replied.

Lance just shrugged, "Yeah I kind of figured," His tone was amiable as he sat down at a bench just outside the doors of their work. He probably looked homeless, but whatever.

"Yeah, well, I need to talk to you about the whole soulmate thing."

"Dude," Was Lance's only response.

"How worthy do you think you are?" Keith asked quietly.

"Nah."

"Why?"

"Dude, I'm so unworthy I don't even get a soulmate."

"Oh yeah?" Keith challenged. "How worthy do you think I am?"

"Hella."

"Even with my lack of a soulmate?"

"Oh," Lance said quietly, staring at his feet. "Okay."

"So," Keith said, "I don't have a soulmate, but I'm worthy, right? But you don't either and that makes you unworthy?"

"It makes more sense in my head," Lance muttered.

"Damn right," Keith replied with a smile.

"So really, that just means there's a different reason for me being unworthy."

Lance has always been stubborn. Sometimes he's proud of it, sometimes he isn't. This was the result.

"Lance!" Keith said in frustration. "Listen to what I'm trying to tell you. Jesus fuck, for someone so smart you really don't get anything, do you? I'm trying to tell you that you're worthy!"

Lance blinked, "Oh." He swallowed, "Why do you think that?"

Keith snorted, "Lance, you're extremely worthy, and if I listed off reasons why you're worthy, we would be here for a while."

Keith smiled a little, "And you know the whole deal with Allura not being your soulmate? Turns out she already has a soulmate."

Lance raised his eyebrows. "Who? Why do I never see her with him?" He drew in a little gasp, "Is he dead?" He whispered.

Keith smiled smugly, "Nope. He's Shiro."

"Shiro?"

"Shiro."

"But Shiro's Gay. And taken."

"Correction," Keith said. "Not taken. Engaged."

Lance's eyes widened, and so did his smile, "What? Dude that's amazing. We should tell everyone! Who's planning their wedding?" His eyes suddenly widened and he started shaking Keith's shoulders urgently, "What if we're not invited?" He wailed.

Keith smiled and caught Lance's hands' mid-flail, "Calm down, Lance. Of course we're invited. Dude you need to chill."

Lance glowered, but he couldn't help the smile spreading across his face. "Wanna ditch work? We totally could. Get some cake and celebrate? I'm sure Adam and Shiro would love to come."

Keith raised his eyebrow, "You're the one that said you need to come to work. 'Because money,' you said."

Lance shrugged, "It's fine. You're gonna be the one paying, after all."

Keith shrugged, "Usually I would say no, but you're right. This deserves to be celebrated."

Lance cheered.

"But," Keith said, "I'll only pay if you admit that you're worthy. And you have to mean it."

They ended up getting cake.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm out here writing and waiting for my form class to open and it's currently 7 59 so the school wifi doesn't even turn on yet, but hey  
>  Tokyo ghoul downloaded off Netflix, am I right?
> 
> Anyway, an update on how close we are to finishing this story - we're on chapter 14 and there are to be 20 chapters and an epilogue, you do the math.  
>  Oh, who am I kidding? You're reading fan fiction, you're not going to do math. That's around 8 chapter to go, so, uh, stick around?


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has been a scared little bitch and has basically foregone work in favour of Harry Potter movies. (A+, 10/10, would recommend btw) and it turns out that Lance wants to hang out. What a shame. What a surprise. How could this have happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in my old chapter notes for the draft of this I said, and I quote:
> 
> "I await eagerly for season 8!"
> 
> and then it hit us like a fucking train amirite
> 
> in other news im super sorry for publishing so late, hopefully this extra chapter will make up for it? sorry im super tired and sad and lonely and jesus fuck i just need a hug. and probably some friends.

Keith was mid-chew when he realised it.

Well, sort of. In truth, he's realised it over time, and he had attempted to stop his fall - or at least slow it.

Alas, that sort of thing didn't exactly work when it comes to falling for Lance. Fuck emotions, honestly.

He reckoned it must have started with Lance's hands. God his hands. They were elegant and slim and a warm brown colour and - well. They were nice. He could imagine holding hands with hands like those.

"Keith, what's the matter, my dude?" Lance asked, stealing the last piece of cake from the platter. Keith let him.

He smiled weakly, "Oh, nothing. I'm just— not feeling great is all."

"Aw man," Lance said. "I can drive you home if you want—"

Keith shook his head quickly, "No, I'll need my car in the morning." He grabbed his phone and ran to his car.

As soon as he reached its safety he laid his head on the wheel for a moment, before starting the ignition.

He laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes, thinking. He could stop it entirely—his descent into feelings for Lance, that is.

After all, Lance was straight and obnoxious, and— no. He couldn't— no he wouldn't accept this.

But maybe he should give Lance a break - after all, Lance wasn't all bad.

Oh shit, Keith groaned into his pillow. He was so screwed. There was no way that he would be able to halt these feelings for that long.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

There was no way Lance fall for him because that boi— is straight. Oh shiiiiit...

No— no he could do this. He just had to have the willpower. He had a say in this. His mind.

Sure, you usually don't have a say in who you like, you can never control any aspects of your life if we're honest - we think we do, but we don't.

But Keith could wrest control from whatever power or butterfly effect that controlled his life. If he could do that, then he would be a vengeful god.

But he had to achieve the impossible before that would happen.

What if he just got rid of all emotions.

Now "Keith," you might ask, "all of your emotions?"

All of them.

And he knew how to do that. It was easy - distract yourself until you're numb to the problem.

So he picked up a book, and he read.

It was Harry Potter, which was good because after calling in sick the next day, he churned out the first three books - hey, he loved Harry Potter, and he didn't exactly have anything else to do.

So that's how his week went - go to work and avoid Lance, then go home and read Harry Potter until 1am. The routine worked.

Alas, after two weeks, he finished reading the series, and he had to be fast. Fast, fast, fast.

Cmon, he was running on caffeine at the moment, and if he let his mind wander... fast, fast, fast.

He could drink - some alcohol might do him good, take his mind off it— no. No, he couldn't. Something else. Find something else.

Keith glanced around and his gaze landed on his collection of Harry Potter movies. Ah, yes! The movies!

After all, it was Friday night!

Keith giggled suddenly and gazed into space.

He shook his head and refocused his eyes before sliding the DVD into the slot. After the movies, he would read the screenplays of the Cursed Child and the two Fantastic Beasts. Then he would watch the movies of the two.

Yep, yep, yep.

So Keith settled down for a movie.

He was in the credits of the fourth one when his phone rang. He was tempted not to answer, he was in the credits anyway. He could do with a break.

He accepted the call without really looking at the caller ID, but as soon as he heard the voice in the other end, he froze.

"Hey, Keith Buddy, I haven't seen you all week! Man, you must've been really sick, am I right? Dude I can come over to yours, I've got cake!"

Keith unfroze after a moment, drawing in a deep breath. He could be strong. He could fucking fight this GODDAMNIT BARB.

"Yeah, sure. We could watch a movie," Keith said hesitantly, "I already finished Philosopher's Stone, Chamber of Secrets, Prisoner of Azkaban, and Goblet of Fire so if you're down with watching the rest then go ahead."

"Damn," Lance said, "I would never have pegged you for a total Harry Potter nerd. Tokyo Ghoul maybe."

"Yeah, Tokyo Ghoul is good too, I mean."

"Bye, Keith. See you in five."

As soon as Lance left Keith swallowed hard and took a deep breath. Fuck this. Fuck life, he could do this.

He made some popcorn to bust his mind. He barely noticed Lance. He certainly didn't notice Lance leaning on the counter behind him.

He had no business looking that good.

Lance was wearing a freaking button-down shirt. And he had rolled it up so his forearms were exposed. Lance, what the fuck? Why? Please stop? Wait no, don't stop.

Oh god, he was so failing.

"Tell me, Keith," Lance said, "Are you aware of a show that is key to my survival?"

"Uh, what?"

Lance rolled his eyes, alas he couldn't help but smile, "Doctor Who. Obviously."

Keith raised his eyebrows, "Oh. Oh, okay, I guess I thought of you as more of an anime kind of dude."

"And I guess I thought of you as more of a straight dude, but here you are, sucking a guy's dick."

Keith grinned, "Oh man."

Lance raised his eyebrows, "What?"

"Oh man, you know I'm gay, right?"

"You— you're gay?"

"The gayest gay ever to gay."

Lance blinked, "Oh. Oh, okay. Sorry for being a dick, man. Should we— uh, should we go watch the movie?"

Keith shrugged, "I've been waiting, so I mean..."

Lance grinned and vaulted into the living room - seriously, he jumped over all the sofas - he stole the best seat.

"I haven't watched or read Harry Potter in ages!"

They finished the popcorn within five minutes, and Keith volunteered to go make some more.

He needed some space away, anyway.

Because his whole plan for removing emotions so he wouldn't like Lance? It wasn't working. It would never work.

Fuck life, if he'd gotten a soulmate this would be so much easier. Probably.

So they finished the movie, and Lance had a kind of shine to his eyes. He sighed, turning to Keith, "I forgot how much I like Harry Potter, so thanks a lot."

Keith smiled, "I have a brilliant idea. Let's see what your house is! And of course your wand, patronus, and Ilvermorny house! It's great! I'll go get my laptop and we can make you a Pottermore account."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come scream at me on tumblr im @crabsthinkfishfly


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith invites Lance over and Lance confesses his undying love for Keith. Or... something like that. Except, you know, with a lot more shit going down because these loveable fucks don't know how to emotion. And clearly I don't know how to word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi so um ive been inactive for a bit but im back..... and posting a christmas special i wrote at, well, christmas!! itll take a bit of editing but when i publish that ill publish a chapter of this too just to notify you

Keith was bored, even though he was doing the same thing he always does. Browse tumblr for memes and gay shit. It was a cycle really. And next thing he knew it was an hour later. Another hour would fly by, and soon his whole day would be gone.

He snapped his laptop shut decisively, he didn't feel like getting into that cycle again, especially with all the discourse he always encountered.

Fucking homophobes.

Keith sighed and picked up his phone. He wondered what the smaller internet was doing. And the small angry shark man as well he supposed.

"Lonce. Lonce what"

"?"

"LOnce what you doing?"

"Nothing"

Keith waited for a little longer for an elaboration but no answer came. He scoffed and took matters into his own hands, ringing Lance instead.

"Keith, what the fuck?" Lance asked. He actually said that phrase a lot, so it shouldn't have made Keith feel shaky and insecure. But maybe it was because this time Lance sounded genuinely annoyed when usually he was clearly joking.

Maybe it was because Lance had a lot of Keith's feelings in his hands, and Keith had only just realised. Maybe Lance was feeling like Keith's welcome was wearing out.

Keith realised that even in his head his thoughts were jumbled, and their language was terrible and grammatically incorrect.

"I was bored," Keith said tentatively, "So I thought I'd say... hi. And, um, see if you wanted to hang out?"

"Keith, I'm a little busy," Lance said. His voice sounded strained and... tired. No— wary.

"Oh, um, ok."

"Lance, hurry up or I swear I will start Pinof 10 bloopers without you," A voice said in the background.

A fumbling noise disturbs the line before it cuts off, leaving Keith dumbstruck.

He had honestly thought they were becoming better friends but this, this wasn't good. He supposed it was alright, Lance's time shouldn't have to be solely dedicated to him.

That wouldn't be fair. He flopped down on his couch and opened his laptop. What should he do? He literally had no idea. Maybe he should just get back on tumblr, but if he did that then he'd just spend five hours scrolling.

He ended up opening YouTube and checking his subscriptions. None of them were active, which to be honest was expected - most of them were taking a break for, like, mental health reasons.

He didn't really feel like looking at shitty ryden edits, which were the majority of his feed, so he just clicked on a random music video for background.

He sank down into the cushions and just... took time to think. It had been a while since he did that. In the end, he decided that he'd take a self-care day, something he hadn't done in a really long time, which wasn't great. He turned off notifications for tumblr and Twitter, which were literally the only social media platforms he used.

It was only when he was in the shower when he just let his thoughts flow unhindered. It was always like this, you know when you're in the shower, and there's nothing to do but think? And you just start thinking of all this random shit, and it's faintly amusing, but not really because you're too busy disassociating? Because that's what was happening with Keith.

And yeah, eventually his thoughts ran over to his phone call with Lance, how Lance clearly wasn't happy with him. And he'd been busy hanging out with someone. He couldn't tell who it had been, and they'd said something, hadn't they? Something about Pin-off. Wait— no way.

It must've been Pinof. What exactly had thy said? He couldn't really remember. It was, uh, Pinof 10? But Keith had watched that with Lance. The only one Lance hadn't seen was the Pinof 10 bloopers. So that must've been it.

But Keith had been the one to show Lance who Dan and Phil were. And here Lance was, watching Pinof without Keith.

But it wasn't exactly Keith's god given right to do anything with Lance. Keith supposed he wasn't even mad, he just... he missed Lance. Not that he'd ever admit that.

Urgh, and to think this was supposed to be a self-care day. Well, that was okay, because as soon as he got out of the shower he just sort of relaxed. Instead of thinking about Lance he ended up watching Braveheart, which was a much better alternative.

He wakes up the next day feeling really light and happy, which was something that usually happened after a self-care day. And he's actually so fucking happy that he just decided fuck it. Who cares if he's too fucking clingy, who even gives a fuck.

So he calls Lance again, and when Lance picks up, he's a lot more agreeable than yesterday, "Hey man, how's the life of a snek?"

"What?"

"C'mon Keef ya little snek, you know what you did."

"I... don't?"

"You didn't even tell me Pinof 10 bloopers were out, you little snek."

"Oh," Keith said, "Sorry?"

"No worries man, but listen, I gotta go. Call me in, like, an hour?"

"Sure," Keith said. He was super confused by now, which was, like, acceptable. After all, Lance had completely changed his tune this time around. He quickly mumbled a goodbye before the line went dead.

And he knew Lance said an hour, but Keith waited two hours before he called Lance again, mostly to make up for how clingy he was this morning when he'd first called Lance.

Keith cleared his throat when he heard the line connect, "Dude, I'm literally just looking at memes on tumblr, come join me m8."

"I'm, Keith?" Lance asked softly.

"Mm, yeah," Keith replied.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"I could literally hear the m-8 text thing. How the fuck?"

Keith grinned, "Can't tell you. But what I can tell you is that you should come over. Here. With me. Now."

The line was already dead, and Keith sat back down on his laptop. He hoped it was because Lance was driving over to Keith's place now. But he was also kind of worried that he hadn't heard Keith, or he was busy.

"The good old rodent is here," Lance said, pushing open Keith's door. "What's up you little emo mouse."

"Literally just tumblr," Keith replied.

"Let me in on some of that good tumblr shit," Lance grinned, coming over to sit on the couch next to Keith.

And it's after Keith made Lance and tumblr account and while they're looking at memes that Lance shifts over and looks at Keith.

"Lance, you alright there?"

"Yeah," Lance said softly. "Yeah, of course. It's just that you're really pretty."

Keith blushed, "Shuddup," he mumbled.

"No seriously. Like, really pretty. I would literally kiss you right now."

"Lance! That's really fucking inconsiderate," Keith said, glaring at him now.

"What?" Lance asked, his expression blank and just generally really fucking confused.

"Um, a straight guy just fucking using a gay guy to, I don't know, experiment."

"Keith, I'm bi. As in bisexual." Lance bit his lip and fidgeted with his hands.

"Still doesn't excuse you fucking saying things like that when you don't really mean it."

"What the fuck do you mean? Keith, I like you."

Keith scoffed, "Whatever."

Lance frowned, "No, you know what, I'm not fucking staying here if you're gonna be like that. Later Keith."

Keith watched him leave silently, and sure, he felt bad, but he also figured that Lance should feel bad. It's not like Lance would like a fucking socially awkward introvert when Lance loved hanging out with people so much. There was no fucking way.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops Keith and Lance are fighting but not fighting how does this work? Stay tuned to find out, and, more importantly, for Keith to walk in on Shiro and Adam . . . doing stuff. *not smut you dirty minded fools. You cowards. You absolute trash heaps.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats this? he updated twice in the same day? praise me. do it u cowards

"So," Keith cleared his throat awkwardly, perched on Lance's doorstep. "I know this is awkward. But, I kind of need to talk to someone? It's not major. Well, it is. Um. Can I come in?"

Lance raised his eyebrows, "Uh, yeah sure. Yeah." Neither of them mentioned what had happened yesterday.

"So, you know how Pinof is. Um, you know how Pinof is dead?" Keith's voice trailed off to the end. It wasn't that big a deal, just onto a new era.

"Keith, sit down and tell me what's wrong."

"Um I'm just kind of, uh, upset about Pinof leaving," Keith said carefully.

"Buddy, there's more to it. You gotta tell me. I won't freak out, just tell me."

Keith drew in a shaky breath and smiled gratefully. Things were awkward with Lance, but they could at least talk a little bit without being completely hostile.

Sure, it would be infinitely more healthy if they just talked about it. Then they would come to some emotionally enlightening conclusion that would leave them both feeling good about themselves.

Instead, they skipped step one and went straight to pretending everything is normal.

"Okay, um it's just that Pinof helped me. Dan and Phil helped me. When I was feeling sad I could turn to them, and they'd always make me feel happier."

"Okay," Lance said slowly, "Go on."

"I'm just scared that Pinof leaving isn't the start of a new era, it signifies Dan and Phil leaving as well."

Lance sighed, "Yeah. Yeah I mean, everything is on hiatus as well so it's not completely..." He shook his head sadly.

It feels nice to Keith. Almost normal. But it's not. Everything seems... icy. On edge. Something is wrong - the fight presumably.

Every time they talk their voices are tight and clipped, and after talking about Pinof they lapse into silence.

The only reason Keith came over was to talk about Dan and Phil, but now he's constricted by the social norms that dictate it would be rude to leave so soon.

"Want to go see a movie?" Lance murmured.

"Huh?"

"A movie. Want to go see one?"

Keith rolled it over in his head. If he went to see one, he could leave afterwards without it being a social anomaly. "Yeah. Yeah sure, what do you want to go see?"

Lance shrugged, "Anything really."

In the end, they go see an entirely generic movie. Keith thinks it might be a romance, or maybe an action. All he knows is the whole time he was supposed to be watching the movie he spent thinking instead.

And he's ashamed to admit that he had been lying to himself in some strange roundabout way.

He hated the whole time he and Lance had spent together that day because it was off. Because they were still fighting. And he hates it when he and Lance fight, he realises with mortification.

So that meant he was weak. Maybe he should just cut all ties with Lance. He glanced over at Lance.

Lance, who was eating popcorn and staring at the movie screen with concentration, like he was trying not to look at Keith.

Nope, that wouldn't work. One look at Lance was all he needed to remember how fucking whipped he was. So yeah, that wouldn't work. Hot damn.

And Lance had said he liked him. Yeah, like that. And he had obviously been lying, but what if he hadn't? He could always dream.

He could dream of a time where Keith had the courage to tell Lance how he felt, he could dream of a future where Lance liked him back, and he could dream of a future where he and Lance had been soulmates.

He could imagine them holding hands. Not in the future, right now. All Keith had to do was reach over. He just had to move his hand, just a tiny bit.

But he didn't. Because Lance didn't like him that way, and he didn't have the courage to tell him. They weren't soulmates, and Keith was meant to pine away at Lance until he found someone else.

He glanced over at Lance again, only this time he was thinking about the fight. The stupid, stupid fight. Shit, he needed to talk to Lance.

But probably not yet. He needed a second opinion.

 

"Shiro, this may be short notice—" Keith said, flinging to door open. "What- oh."

"Keith!" Adam yelled, throwing a pillow at him.

Shiro and Adam scrambled apart and fixed their hair.

"Well at least lock the front door you freaks, you should've known this would happen."

"Keith," Shiro whined, "Why are you here?"

"I need to talk to someone. Anyone," Keith said, looking at the floor.

"Well I have to go anyway, but Shiro's free. He can help you with that," Adam said, pulling on his shoes and bundling out the door.

Shiro sank back into the couch and pulled a cushion to his chest, "So. Advice? Opinions? That's my jam. Fire the fuck away."

Keith wanted to reprimand Shiro for saying "my jam" but it really wasn't that important for the time being.

"It's Lance. I mean, the other day I realised I liked him, and yesterday he confessed that he liked me."

Shiro leaned forward, "I don't see how that's a problem."

Keith frowned, "It's a problem because he doesn't really like me, and it's a problem because now we're in some sort of fight. I'm not even really sure what it is."

"Oh? Okay, so how do you know that he doesn't really like you?"

"Really Shiro? I've never dated, I don't have a soulmate, and no one's ever liked me."

"How do you know that no one's ever liked you?" Shiro asked before he sunk back into the cushions triumphantly.

Before Keith could speak, he frowned a little, "Actually I do have another question. Why do you say you only realised the other day? Remember, what was it? The first day of your new job? You were saying how attractive Lance was and I'm pretty sure you liked him."

Keith frowned, "I kind of remember that, but I didn't really like him. Not like that.  
That was mostly just me saying he was attractive."

Shiro shrugged, "I can't really give you advice on this situation. You have to figure it out yourself. I think you already know the answer, but I might just be reading too much into it."


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oho looks like there's a bit of klance fluff in here, huh? A date? Yep. But hey there's a plot twist (not really. My boys are lazy and haven't been to a class in months. You know this.)
> 
> Or, alternatively:
> 
> What's this, a klance picnic date? Our boys, on a date? Our boys having fun on a date? Delicious. Oh and hey remember Keith's lip ring? No? Wow what a casual, ples do not interact. *ahem* anyway Lance thinks -that's- hot so.

Lance wasn't sure what happened. He thought maybe he was showing Keith . . . Something. He was mad at Keith for craving validation when he was already valid, even though he knew that wasn't how to go about anything.

He supposed he just got caught up along the way.

He didn't know what to do about Keith anymore. He didn't know how to show him he was valid.

How does one prove something like that?

He supposed he could set up a date. Something sweet to show he genuinely cared.

He ended up packing food and drink, plus some blankets, anything cliche would do, he supposed. And sure, in retrospect, something abstract and edgy would appeal to Keith too, but he wasn't thinking properly.

He was helpless.

And he was surprised to find he didn't really resent it all that much.

He ended up calling Keith while he was getting dressed, which probably wasn't a good idea when his voice kept getting muffled and he kept making weird little noises from the effort.

He really didn't want to know what Keith thought about that.

Or maybe he did.

"So," Lance said, tugging on a pants leg. "Come out to that field thing, and wear something nice. No, no, wear that button up, you know the one. It's the only button up you own."

Keith never got the chance to answer, Lance didn't want to give anything away.

He'd probably already given a lot away, he was rubbish at being mysterious.

It's not that weird for Lance to admit he was focused entirely on finding Keith. And because of that, it's not weird that he spotted Keith instantly, and waved him over.

"Oh!" Keith looked a little surprised, and Lance didn't completely know why.

"So," Lance grinned, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. "Surprise! It's a picnic. A literal date."

"Oh," Keith said in a small voice.

Lance frowned, "Keith if I didn't like you why would I have set this whole thing up?" He had his hands on his hips and everything.

Keith paused for a few seconds, looking uncertain.

Except, this time instead of letting out a quiet string of words that denied everything Lance had said, he leapt forward.

And yeah, Lance hadn't been expecting Keith to kiss him.

And yeah, now he's the one lost for words.

Neither of them said anything for a while after that, but this time was nice. This time was comfortable.

And somewhere along the way, they started holding hands, and Lance couldn't stop smiling.

They talked about everything, and they wouldn't remember any of it in a day, a week.

And it didn't matter, because it wasn't important, but it was nice.

"Y'know," Keith said eventually, "You did help."

"Hm?" Lance replied sleepily. He looked down at Keith, and fuck Keith looked so pretty.

"With Dan and Phil. I was stressing, and I was tired, and I was scared. I know it was small, but it felt good to open up. And this sounds cheesy, but I'm glad it was you."

Lance smiled, "It's supposed to be cheesy."

Keith smacked Lance, but he was laughing, "Shut up, you! I'm trying to be serious here!"

Lance held up his hands, "Okay, okay. Sorry. Please continue."

"Well, okay, so, Shiro didn't help. He kind of emo shamed me and said I didn't fit into society in a roundabout way. It's fine now, but it hurt, so," He shrugged.

Lance opened his mouth.

"But hey, Phil posted a video," Keith smiled and nudged Lance. "Sorry for having a breakdown, it's just, you know the feeling where everything's horrible and you think that no one understands and you're not going to be happy for a while? They just, like, helped with that. I felt happiness after I was, like," He sighed in frustration.

"I can't put it into words."

Lance smiled, "That's okay. You don't have to. I get you."

Lance didn't want to admit that he was so mad at Keith at first. And he supposed he had a tiny bit of right to, after Keith thought that he was joking or laughing about his feelings.

But he also had no right to be mad at someone for mental health issues, which is something you can't control.

"Hey," Lance nudged Keith. "I'm glad you feel more comfortable about yourself. And, hey, if you ever need it, I'm here. You know that, right? Especially mental health wise. Even if you need someone to talk to, or to be there with you."

Keith smiled and leaned into Lance.

"Hey," Lance frowned. "Hey, hey, hey." He swivelled Keith around to face him.

"What?"

"Where's your lip ring?"

"What?"

"Your lip ring. It's gone."

"Uh, Lance," Keith laughed, "I literally only wore it the first week of meeting you. I haven't worn it since."

"Oh," Lance frowned. "The first time I noticed it I thought it was kind of hot."

"No one else liked it," Keith smiled.

"Am I not enough?" Lance pouted.

Keith smiled, "You know that's not—"

He would have finished his sentence, but his phone dinged with an email.

"Shit. I knew I should have put that on silent. I forgot about it."

"Why'd you take it off silent?"

"I find the keyboard tapping noises satisfying."

He took a bit to read through it, his smile dropping with each passing sentence. "So, slight problem," he said.

"Slight problem?"

"So that was University. Friendly reminder that uh, if I don't take a class soon or do some serious studying odds are I'm gonna fail all of my exams."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so if you check my account there should be a story called All I Want For Christmas Is To Be Left Alone. Ok, And Maybe You. It's a klance christmas story i wrote you should check it out


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey what's this? Looks to me like Keith and Lance taking positive steps towards a positive relationship and mental state of mind???????? Mm my favourite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops I've been inactive but like,, i love y'all so y'all gotta 5give me rite............ ugh that sentence is a literal dumpster fire I'm sorry

"So we study," Lance smiled. "I don't see the big deal."

And they really fucking studied. They were up at least 72 solid hours, just helping Keith study.

It felt nice. It felt like he was cared about.

It was late at night when they had the conversation again. They'd been studying for god knows how long, and Keith was emotional and wanted to cry and suddenly it just hit him that everything was so _wrong_.

So Keith kicks off the conversation by bursting into tears, "Lance," He said. "It's a fucking mess."

Lance didn't know what the fuck Keith was talking about.

"We don't even have soulmates, so we can't be with anyone." He felt guilty, he supposed. He knows it's probably self esteem issues or mental health or something. But it wasn't something he could control.

Lance frowned and pulled Keith into a hug, "Are you fucking dumb?" He asked, he was just trying to lighten the mood.

Keith shrugged.

"Keith, maybe they missed us out, either way, they gave us the freedom to love whoever we want to love, right? And I think I know who I want to love."

Keith allowed a grin, "That's so cheesy."

"It's supposed to be cheesy."

Keith smiled again, and he felt all tingly inside. He felt good about the whole ordeal again.

"But you know not everyone has a soulmate, and not everyone's soulmate loves them. There are obviously mistakes in the system, so maybe we're not the mistakes. The whole system is fucked up."

Keith smiled and poked Lance in the stomach, "Look at you, you edgelord." He took a shaky step forward and collapsed into Lance, hugging him _so tightly_.

They kind of stay there for a while, before Lance leans in again.

And this time was more emotional, even though they've pretty much had this talk. Maybe it's because Keith didn't really want to say anything again, and now they're _dating_ he needs validation, and Lance is acknowledging that and saying Keith is valid and important to him.

Either way, this time when they kiss it's salty, and they're crying. Why are they crying? _They_ don't know, but they know it's happy. They're happy.

Maybe it's the release from the constraint of not having a soulmate, but either way, Keith reached out to wipe away Lance's tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say that this was such a fun journey? 
> 
> I'll leave my details for other platforms in the epilogue. you can subscribe to me for other stories that I'll be doing soon hopefully.
> 
> I'll definitely miss the whole mood and journey, but it feels so good for it to be done. Less stress, ya know? anyway epilogue coming soon along with that klance one shot i promised


	21. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's klance fluff, what more can I say? Oh yeah: look out for a shit tonne of my chemical romance sourced fluff. By that I mean, Lance knows mcr and Keith is literally in love.

"Lance," Keith groaned, "What the fuck? What is it?"

Lance smirked and pulled Keith back against his lips, "Why is it," He spoke between kisses, "That the romance authors were right? Huh? How come kissing you is like fireworks and your touch is electric?"

Keith laughed softly against Lance's lips, "You're just overly excited, Lance," He murmured. "You're like a puppy."

Lance yelped in outrage, "Shuddup. Am not."

Keith shrugged and pulled away.

"Hey, hey!" Lance protested, "What the fuck are you doing?"

Keith grinned, "Lance. We were going to order in food."

"Oh," Lance brightened, "Oh yeah!"

"And I already ordered it," Keith poked Lance in the stomach, "Lucky for you. It's here, so I'll be back in a few minutes," He smiled and disappeared down the stairs.

Keith came back up with plastic bags strung around his arms, "Lance, what the fuck are you doing?" He asked when his head popped back up.

Lance laughed, "What do you think I'm doing? We're gonna watch every single one of all the Doctor Who Christmas Specials."

Keith scoffed, but it was hollow, he was so fucking soft over Lance. It was like someone had made a pastel edit of him and all the dark was draining out of his soul. Goodbye what remained of the emo in him, hello wholesomeness.

Lance flopped down on Keith's sofa and smiled up at Keith. God, he was so soft, Keith was trying so hard not to smile. It was fucking hard.

He gave in so quickly it was pathetic.

"Sit down, idiot," Lance grinned.

Keith shrugged and flopped down as Lance commanded, right on top of Lance.

"Your elbows are sharp," Lance winced, "What hideous mutation are you?"

Keith laughed and moved over so his head rested on the opposite arm of the sofa to where Lance's head rested. Their feet met in the middle and tangled together.

Keith tried to watch the show. He really did, it's just that his eyes kept drifting over to Lance's face.

"What are you looking at?" Lance raised an eyebrow, a smile creeping over his face. "Wait, wait, don't answer that. I just, I need to tell you something. I've been meaning to for a while now," He took a deep shaky breath and hid his face in his hands, "Sorry, I'm just kind of nervous. This is like, it's like, trust issues now. Not your fault," His voice was muffled and his peeked through his hands to look over at Keith.

"Ok, ok, I can totally do this. Um, so, basically it's just that I didn't think that I'd be doing this with you. I mean like, emphasis on you. No offence or anything, but this romantic shit? I thought I'd be doing it with Allura. Well, I actually hoped. That never would've happened anyway."

Keith frowned, "Lance, you know that's not your fault. And it's not Allura's either. Allura was Shiro's soulmate, but Shiro's gay and with Adam and... she just never felt attraction to anyone. I think she's aromantic, which is fine, but she hurt both of you when she was trying to fit in which is not okay."

"It's not o-fucking-kay," Lance murmured.

"Huh?" Keith smiled sleepily at Lance. He'd looked soft and sleepy all week.

Lance deadpanned a look at Keith, "Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say."

Keith's mouth opened until he was the embodiment of the surprised Pikachu meme, which is outdated but there's really no other way to describe it. He tackled Lance in a hug and leaned down until Lance thought Keith was going to kiss him.

But he didn't. Instead, he said, "You watched it!"

And Lance had indeed watched it. He figured that it was Keith, and he had figured out a long time ago that he would probably do just about anything for Keith.

And sure, after what had happened with Allura that had scared him at first. But only because he knew that this was what having a soulmate was supposed to be like.

Which was super cheesy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A//N im screeching, so i guess this story is really over, huh? well i guess this leaves me with more time to write my other wips, also im thinking that maybe i'll take some requests if yall have prompts you wanna read, just like specify storylines and protagonists and genres and ill see what i can do?? ok i think ive embarrassed myself enough with this author's note, ill let myself out
> 
> @ me when editing this 'what the actual hell did i just read i hate it goodbye forever lemme just find a bridge
> 
> come scream at me on tumblr https://crabsthinkfishfly.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> Also I was gonna make Allura aro or Demiromantic ace so she would end up with Romelle in the sequel I'm probably never gonna write. Sorry about that.


End file.
